The devil and 2 brothers

I had a nightmare last weekend. Because I hardly get nightmares (unless I am specifically stressed and/or have watched a horror movie or related stuff), I pay attention when I get them.

In the dream, my 2 brothers and I were doing something together. Then they asked me to do a separate task for them while they continued on. While I was doing the separate task, a devil appeared -- telling me that I would not be able to do/finish my task. I tried calling out to my 2 brothers who were waiting for me at a short distance away -- to tell them that I cannot get back to them within their expected timeframe. But the devil smiled and laughed at my "lost voice" and unsuccessful attempts to get my brothers' attention. Finally, I choked and shouted the common "first name" of my 2 brothers.

I woke up upon hearing my own voice calling out the common "first name" of my 2 brothers. My boyfriend DD asked with concern, "Are you having a nightmare?" 

I replied, "Ya, I'm sorry to wake you up." 

He asked if I was alright. I told him yes and kissed him. He hugged me to back to sleep. 

I know what my dream was about -- its symbolism just cannot escape me. [Click here and here for hints.] For me, dreams are a communication -- to help process the past, solve current issues or to prepare for future possibilities; and/or a warning; and/or a sign/encouragement. I've had all of these before.

E.g. A PTSD dream where something that happened in my childhood was repressed and forgotten, only to burrow its way into consciousness through a re-current (over the years) nightmare. It was only decades later when chatting with my elder sister about our childhood that I found out about the event which explained the recurrent nightmare and banished it to its grave. Maybe I'll share about it someday.

[Click here for more links about dreams; and what another Singapore blogger -- a new immigrant to Australia -- has to share about how her past in Singapore re-appears in her dreams.]

Labour Day weekend trip

I am so looking forward to my long Labour Day weekend trip with DD's family. I need a good break. I realize that I am not thinking clearly about finances and career -- 2 very important areas in which I have had to work hard for all my life, and for which I have had recurrent lapses. 

I hope this trip can clear my thoughts and bring inspiration, like last year's Labour Day weekend trip (with a group of awesome friends). 

Countdown -- 3 days to take-off! I really need a good break.

Too late to crawl back into the egg

Just to share a Peanuts (Snoopy) comic that I love. It never fails to bring on a quiet giggle even when I have the blues.

I think the picture and caption say it all. The above is extracted from a series of 2 books published by Ravette Books Limited 1989, based on comics by Charles M. Schulz -- "Things I've Had To Learn Over and Over and Over and Over (Plus a Few Minor Discoveries)" and "Things I Learned After It Was Too Late (And Other Minor Truths)".

Public Health Nursing

Today I met a Public Health Nurse via a friend. I am excited to learn about the wide scope of coverage for Public Health Nursing in B.C., Canada. I hope to learn more about it and to see if I may be a good match in that area.

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Sometimes my B.C.-based nursing peers/acquaintances ask me how I know about this or that (referring to the B.C. health care system and/or nursing industry). IMHO, my knowledge is actually very limited, it is just that I may be atypical in my willingness to share what I know. I am well aware of the fact that my professional network in B.C. nursing is still very limited, unlike many of my peers who have big/strong communities of fellow countrymen in the same profession. I do what I can to build my knowledge by asking around and talking to others in the industry whenever the opportunity presents itself. Fortunately, many nurses have been kind to me, with some sharing insiders' views of trends, etc. This is important as such information contributes towards making better "bets" in my career decisions. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Recycling-net on waste-bins

When I first arrived in Vancouver, I wondered why their waste-bins typically have a separate net for "bottles/cans".

More impressive was that people actually bothered to set aside their recyclable bottles/cans in the separate bins provided.

Then as I walked down the streets one day, I noticed that there were poor and/or homeless folks collecting bottles/cans from these nets. Thus, it reduces the need for them to dig through the dirty waste bins. These bottles/cans can be taken to the recycling depot and exchanged for 5 cents (a nickel) per piece. Although there are still some poor/homeless folks who would pull out the tops of the waste-bins to search for recyclable bottles/cans, I noticed that they were less likely to do so if the "harvest" from the recycling net was good, moving on to the next bin instead.

If only waste-bin designs in Singapore take the poor/homeless recyclers into consideration. The short video below, although fictional, shows the Singapore situation. Actually, I have personally seen scavengers digging through dustbins with their bare hands -- I guess not much of a choice when survival is at stake.

Can -- by Linus Koh

2 ships passing in the night

Recent events make me wonder about life -- the unpredictability of who will stay and who will move on in one's life. Sometimes we put in so much effort into a relationship, only to end up being "Two Ships Passing In The Night". Sometimes, unexpectedly those whom we thought may at best be a passing fancy/acquaintance, end-up staying for life. Such is the unpredictability and frailty of human relationships.

For the "friends" who turn out to be ships passing in the night, I guess it's best to just let them go, despite one's disappointment of having "wasted one's time and effort" investing into the relationship. To paraphrase the investment advice "no point throwing good money after bad money", it is the same with relationships, "no point throwing good time/effort after bad time/effort". [Click here for a succinct blog entry by another Singaporean about the importance of honour and trust.]

For the "passing ships" who return to dock and keep in touch, to count one's blessings that one has such friends who willingly reaches out time-and-again. I am blessed indeed to have such friends.

In love, it's the same. Mr SMS emailed me birthday wishes this year. So ironic that he would be investing effort into the relationship when it is over. I am really glad that my new guy is committed/invested into building in our relationship right from the start.

Twins - 多謝失戀 Thanks for losing love

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Two Ships Passing In The Night

by Gulliver Gimble

[Extracted from Poem Hunter]

I have seen this wooden mast before. 

Flowing blue sails on silent winds. 

You are not welcome here anymore. 

Once you were my only friend. 

There is no place for you to dock. 

You bring angry seas and salty veins. 

Solid anchors like solid rocks. 

Wilted growth on harvest grains. 

You come silently and without cause. 

Knowing that you come for me. 

Out of the mist you start to pause. 

You know I am no longer free. 

The storms rage and swell the boards. 

Barnacles are never loosely cleaned. 

Until this ship reaches its shores. 

You will never let me be. 

I watch as you steadily sail right by. 

Two ships passing in the night. 

Your melancholy bellows catch my eye. 

Only darkness without light.. 

Two ships passing in the night.

In-transition

Have not been blogging recently. Not much of a mood for it. I spent the Singapore National Day working and only realized that it was Singapore's National Day when I was documenting my nursing notes and found the date so familiar.

Anyway, at first I thought my lack of motivation to blog was because I was too busy; juggling work and a still budding relationship. Then I noticed that I have been feeling glum and not my usual "let's get up and at it" self more often. Where being "in-transition" carried hope previously, it now comes across as yet another "so near yet so far" endless treadmill. It became obvious this week when even my verbalization carries more negativity than positivity.

I'll probably take a short break and return when I feel better. Need to make time for myself and attend to my needs. I have so much that I want to share about -- especially nursing job search in Greater Vancouver, but really being in the wrong mood means that the words may well form into a crappy article, so I'll wait it out.