Sunday, August 29, 2010

Facebook exchange: What it means to leave Singapore

I had an exchange with JN over Facebook. It clearly shows the ravine between our political views. Extracted here for the record, should he decide to remove it.

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[Facebook exchange on JN's childhood photo with him sitting in front of the National Theatre]

WD: National Theatre... build with donations from people from all walks of life. Such a pity that it is torn down instead of re-furbished.

JN: Part of the bigger plans lah....

WD: When there is the will, there's a way. E.g. Take apart and relocate. It's a lack of will that causes our history to disappear.

JN: Anyway, we have got the aircon Durian with MRT connections. Much much better.

WD: Not so. The significance of the National Theatre (and also the Nanyang University) was that people from all walks of life contributed to it. When was the last time Singaporeans from all walks of life come together for a common goal?

WD: The spirit of Singapore is dying, fast.

SY (JN's friend): Totally agree that demolition of National Theatre is a big loss to S'pore history. The PM emphasized on S'pore identity during Rally today. What's left of S'pore if the govt continue to tear down buildings of historic significance like this in the name of development?

JN: old guards also leaving one by one, so will most old buildings. Afterall, we have limited land lor.

WD: Take a leaf from the refurbishment of old Cathay. You can keep the facade while changing the interiors dramatically to meet modern needs. We just need a good architect and the political will... hmm, the late ex-President Ong Teng Cheong Chong comes to mind ;)

WD: See wikipedia link on "Structure Relocation" below. When there's the will, there's a way.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Structure_relocation

JN: Just like you, the will to leave Singapore but yet has so much things to say.

WD: Just an intellectual discourse from a between-jobs person, ha ha. After all, my family is still in Singapore, so I hope that life will improve in Singapore for their sake.

JN: with you departing, now there will be an excuse to hire 3 more FT to replace you . Wonderful lah.

WD: 3? I am not that efficient at nursing lah. Unless you mean 3 to replace me in my previous IT functions, ha ha.

JN: Nursing lah. for that price they pay you, i think they can hire 3. Hehehe

WD: Oh, then you don't know how sad my current pay is. Cannot even apply for credit card leh.

JN: neither do they leh. just go to money changer to remit $$ back home only mah.

WD: Your comments very PAP-style, leh. Are you saying that we should empty out the Singapore economy of skilled workers and replace them with younger, cheaper but unskilled workers? What good is that for the long-term progress of Singapore's economic structure?
*Sakes head, wondering why I even bother to ask this question*

JN: No need to look at the big picture but just "you are going away for good" is enough. The thing is that you are quiting Singapore. A skilled and qualified person leh. So who is gonna replace you in this short instant ? there are those in the hospital that needs to be cared for leh. Afterall, to train you to be a SRN takes 3 years or something. So poach from other countries lor. Given your "low pay scale" is already many time more than what they will be likely to earn, so come lor. But maybe, we will need 2-3 to replace you. Afterall, they can be cheap to hire (assuming that training are the same competency level and all speaks english). chey, so simple logic also cannot understand meh. What PAP like ? Chey.

WD: Oh, to replace a SRN with foreign nurse, cannot pay so low lah. Don't forget, I'm only given fresh diploma holder pay, so it's not enough to pay for 2 foreigners willing to downgrade to EN (forget about 3).

JN: still, it is more than 1. They win. ^-^

WD: I would gladly let them win, given the work culture such a system creates :) You want talent, you have to pay for it.

JN: make sure that I don't see you crawing back to SGP looking for a job here ah....

WD: Don't curse me like that lah. You also relocated out of Singapore yourself, mah.
Btw, you're wrong about my replacement. They employed another Singaporean, almost fresh diploma holder, to replace me. After all, you're taking about service industry here, very hard for newly-arrived foreigners to hit the ground running.

JN: Yup. I relocated. Can't complain about FT but being one myself lor. Expat package. Plus me in SGP is easily replaced, no special skills or training or licence needed, so unlike you. They won't missed me here or anywhere in the world lah.

WD: They will need you back... to produce the next generation of loyal Singapore citizens, ha ha.

JN: Past sell-by age liao.
Anyway, since you hate the SGP & PAP government so much that you are leaving. Than go, set up the better life elsewhere, FB us to make us envy you.
Don't turn back. Don't comment on the past here, as it is no longer yours to comment nor can you contribute anything useful lor. 好马不吃回头草

WD: I disagree with you that "it is no longer yours to comment nor can you contribute anything useful"
Why does the govt pay big $ to foreign consultants for advice, if they are not local? Because their thoughts, criticisms and comments have value. [Exclude of course the silly $ PAP govt spent to rename "Marina Bay" to "Marina Bay". Ha ha]
I may be gone from Singapore soon, but my family is still here. And for various reasons, some are unlikely to leave. It is only right for me to wish for a better life for my family members who remain. I left Singapore because I do not like the government's policies, it does not mean that I dislike ALL Singaporeans, things Singaporean. Least of all, it should not mean that I have to disown my family which is Singaporean. Got it?
Like I said, you are very PAP-style in your comments without even realising it. IMHO, it has to do with the pathetic nature of debate and critical thinking education in the typical local schools. :P
Try reading some of the well-written local blogs. E.g. Yawning Bread.
http://yawningbread.wordpress.com/

JN: you sounded like a pinoy hor. BTW, I don't read the rubbish blogs of noise makers. just too many out there to waste my precious them and intrude into my personal space.

JN: It is as if you are better schooled than us. The way you are not able to accept my reasoning and calling me PAP-thinking shows that you are even of a more narrow vision. Bo chap than dun kau pei here lah. It is a photo of my childhood and you are talking rubbish. Just like how you are on my late-father's photo*.
[*Note: It was a photo of his late-father's watch where he commented that the watch had stopped at the exact moment when his father passed away. I commented on the parallels with the story from a children's song "My Grandfather's Clock". JN took it as an insult. IMHO, he has limited literary sense, lah.]
U also product of local system mah. Chey. If you dun like the policies and then just exit, isn't this like that big bird with small head that sticks into the ground. "See no evil and hear no evil." And leave your poor family behind to continuously "suffer" the disliked policies ? Stay back, make a stand and do something lor. 好马不吃回头草 orh. On what you say here earlier, I will hold you to it orh. Dun pray-pray orh. Hheeheh.

WD: From my personal observations, the average Filipino is more loyal to his/her home country than the average Singaporean... despite all the troubles and the corruption in their homeland. Once you get to know them well enough, they can and will openly criticise their govt and its policies and their home situations. Yet, they are proud to be Filipinos, even after years away from their homeland.
How did the PAP govt failed to instil love for Singapore despite its self-proclaimed success and unique abilities? Why must PAP govt and its supporters chastise all who leave the country for a better life?
Reading more to trigger deeper thinking does not mean you have to agree with what you read. It's a way to push oneself to develop further in one's thinking skills. Learning and thinking are supposedly lifelong activities.
Of course, being stuck at your current thinking is ok too, given that it fulfils what PAP proscribed for the plebeians... only the basic physiological and security levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

WD: Yes, IMHO, I was luckier than you. I had better teachers. A stroke of luck.
I did not say that I'm better. You are sensitive yourself, so you said so. You're the one who started this whole political debate on your photo, not me. I have my right to give my 2 cents retort. If you don't like, you can always delete my comments.
Just don't be a sore loser.

JN: so well inked ah. Maslow somemore.... I think you should start one of those noise making blog lor. Afterall, they cannot pull you in for questioning after you have left the country ^-^

WD: Next step, use of fear to intimidate. Very clever and PAP-style hor.
I won't waste my time with a sore loser. If you dare, leave the comments here for others to judge.

JN: Aiyo. Name calling now ah.
I seriously think that you are a vegetable head quitter. Before you go, then decided to fleece their fellow countryman by taken an expensive & taxpayer-subsidized course with no intention returning good service to the Singapore society by at least serving your time in the hospital.1
Your decision lor. Ok lor, i am sure you did your maths well and let others be the judge of this too.
好马不吃回头草, will be the one phase that i just tag you, a quitter.

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I do not look down on others in general. In fact, I respect those who are willing to argue their stand logically or base their arguments on the impact on people, even if our stands may be diametric. But to hit below the belt at my family and to use the threat of being arrested? Well, suffice to say that JN has just lost my respect.

The other thing I dislike is the stand taken by some Singaporeans against those who leave to build a better life. It is such hostile attitude that makes one not want to come back to contribute to Singapore even if one happens to be successful in future.

p.s. For those who don't know, I (a Singapore citizen) repay repaid my bond according to its exit clause. Any PR (i.e. foreigner) on the same bond would have to do the same*. Thus, JN's accusation that I "fleece their fellow countryman by taken an expensive & taxpayer-subsidized course with no intention returning good service to the Singapore society" holds no water.2

*Note: According to internet anecdotes, some foreigners on other even more expensive "Singapore taxpayer-subsidized" scholarships have absconded. Information on such cases are the government's "official secrets", never to be published in the media.1

[Addendum on 3rd June 2011]

My 2 cents:

1. I am amazed at the PAP-government instigated public hatred (through ministerial comments published in the mainstream media) against Singapore citizen bond-breakers. It stands in stark contrast against their silence on foreign bond-breakers. Is this an example of why it is better to be a foreigner than a citizen in Singapore?

2. If you read my blog on my nursing experience in Singapore, you would have an inkling why I decided to pay up my bond instead of completing it. It was a difficult decision. Nevertheless, once a decision is made, one just moves on and hopes for the best.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Farewell gift

After my confrontation with my ward manager, my ward admin staff insisted that I apologise to my ward manager. She had served for more than a decade under the ward manager. She felt that I had hurt the ward manager's feelings, especially in tendering my resignation a couple of days after the confrontation. I refused to, after all my ward manager was aware of my pre-planned resignation date long beforehand.

Unlike the ward's usual practice, there was no farewell party for SN O nor me. Both of us had been from the nursing career-conversion course. SN O left after the completion of her 3 year bond, whereas I left after 1+ year. When SN O left, her farewell party was cancelled with the admin staff's message that her farewell party will be held in conjunction with mine.
[Addendum on 15 Aug 2011]
SN O's final month at the hospital was when we had the new rooms opened. During one of those shifts when we were both taking teams, SN O remarked to me repeatedly in frustration that she would rather pay back her final month of bond than to accept such work conditions. Subsequently she mentioned that she would be sure to vent her dissatisfaction at her exit interview with HR. I do not know if she made her complaints to HR at the exit interview. As far as I know, she completed her bond as originally planned.
During my resignation notice period, I suspected that there will not be a farewell party for us. During those last few weeks, a nice consulting doctor TT kept asking me when my last day would be, and reminding me that he shall be away but would be back in Singapore in-time for my farewell. If only he knew...

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Since I was packing my home for migration, I made a request via the admin staff to my colleagues [and I also spoke directly to some colleagues] -- not to buy me any farewell gift for it would add to my baggage. If they should insist on giving me something, then I would prefer cash or gold for portability and retention of value. The admin staff informed me that the ward staff has agreed to my request and will be giving me a cash gift on my last day of work.

On my second last day of work, I bought my colleagues a box of chocolate candies with a note of thanks. The admin staff insisted that I should present the gift to my ward manager. I said, "No, this is meant for the staff" and left it in the staff room.

On my last day of work, my ward manager passed me an angpow. At that instance, the admin staff jumped up from her desk, flipped opened a small printed brochure from her desk and read ostentatiously from it.

Admin staff read, "The love of money is the root of all evil."

I quietly replied, "Not really. It depends on what you do with the money."

My ward manager awkwardly signalled to the admin staff, and turning to me, she pointed to the Chinese words on the angpow and said, "We wish you 福 [good fortune] and 滿 [full/enough] 。”

I took it and simply said, "Thank you."

Call me petty, unrealistic, or whatever. I do not wish to keep a gift if any of its contributors were insincere, especially when I am not in need of the gift. Thus, I donated the full $105 to a charity in the name of the "Staff of XYZ ward (ABC hospital)". I shall be sending them the receipt with a note that I'm "paying it forward" with regards to their blessings.

Psychic nurse

I contemplated for awhile before writing this entry. The main reason is that this entry touches on a topic that elicits a wide range of responses -- from reverence, to indifference, to ridicule for lunacy. Well, I decided that my usual readers would probably have a grasp of my mental health status, so here goes.

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Prologue: Over 4 years ago

A colleague came in to work with a bad neck sprain. He was in pain but refused to see a doctor due to work exigencies.
[Note: Generally, I keep my personal life, especially my psychic practice, apart from my work life. Although there was once when another colleague Google for my name and found an article about my psychic work.]
After struggling at work for a while, my colleague was still noticeably in pain. At which point I offered, "Would you like a healing? It does not involve physical contact, but it's non-orthodox."

After some rounds of hesitant queries and answers, he agreed to let me work on his neck. At the end of the session, he asked, "What are you doing here [Note: i.e. in I.T.] when you can do that?"

To which I shrugged and smiled.

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At the start of my nursing training, I decided that I should focus on the nursing tools and skills. After all, as professionals, nurses are advised to practise evidence-based nursing. Thus, I decided to avoid using my psychic skills during the course of my nursing duties. The keyword here is "avoid", because there were times when it slips in. I shall share 2 examples below.

Example 1
There was a girl admitted for chest infection. The initial blood tests indicated only the usual infection markers. Her intake was poor and physical activities reduced as expected of her condition. Subsequently, her CXR showed significant pneumonia, but not something which we have not handled before. Typical of children adjusting to hospitalisation, the patient was refusing her medications and had to be coaxed.

What puzzled me was, while nursing her, I got a strong psychic message from her, "I don't want to live anymore, I want to leave this body." Nevertheless, wearing my "nurse's hat", I continued to give her parents hope and support.

The next day, she had several repeat and additional blood tests. Her latest blood tests indicated a sudden severe turn in her condition and she was transferred to another hospital. We heard from the consulting doctor that she passed away subsequently.

Example 2
It was my second last day at work. A CCU (Critical/Intensive Care Unit) colleague had admitted her son for bronchitis. Being a CCU trained nurse, she preferred to perform nasal suctioning for her son herself and has been doing so during the hospitalisation. Her husband was holding the boy while she suctioned. I happened to pass-by and helped to hold the boy's head. When she was done with a couple of rounds of suctioning, she asked me if her son's nose was clear.

Visually we could see that the boy's outer nares were clear. There was more mucus extracted from the left than the right nostril. I put my ear next to the boy's head to listen closer to his breathing. The boy's breathing still sounded a little blocked but I had no clue as to the left or right nostril [Note: unless the parents allowed me to experiment and closed off one nostril at a time, ha ha]. The mother asked, "Is his nose still blocked? Where?"

As I lifted my head up, I visualised by chance "blocked energy" at the patient's right inner nares. I replied, "Yes, more on the right nostril."

The mother suctioned one more round and there was thick whitish mucus extracted from the right nostril.
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p.s. If anyone outside of my circle of close/psychic friends asks me, I shall totally deny the matters written here.

It's not so simple

Had dinner with my friend WP recently. We were chatting about migration, work in Singapore, and training bond. WP shared about her friend X who was a nurse.

X was sponsored by a restructured hospital for a 3 year diploma in nursing course. Upon the completion of her course, she worked in a ward at her sponsoring hospital. One day, not long into her job, she made a mistake at work and her supervisor threatened to terminate her. X was distraught, for she did not have the money to pay up her bond should she be terminated. Fortunately for X, there was a nurse manager that helped her out and she was re-deployed to serve the remaining of her bond in the administrative department. It was a godsend for X.

After I heard the story from WP, I told her that things are not so simple in nursing. When a mistake is made in nursing, it is often a failure in a system of checks and counter-checks, rather than that of a single wilful or careless nurse. However, where the lion's share of the blame falls depends on the person in-charge. I cite the following example of medication error for WP.

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During my nursing training, we were taught that when a medication error occurs, the lion's share of the blame will go to the nurse who administer the medication. At my ward, it is similarly practised as the person who signed off on the medication administered will get the most blame.

This incident happened while I was serving my 1 month's resignation notice. I was about to administer a medication to my patient when I found another medicine in the patient's locked medicine drawer instead. The colour of the syrup medication is similar to that of the intended medication, however the function is totally different. The medication was dispensed from the ward stock, and based on the shift schedule it may have been dispensed by the new staff SN S. According to the inpatient's medication record (IMR), the first and only dose of the wrong medication was administered by my ward manager L who signed off on the IMR.

Since neither SN S nor the ward manager L was on duty during that shift, I first spoke with SN J who is SN S's preceptor about the matter. SN J advised me that since the ward manager was involved, to throw away the wrong medication, replace it with the right one and forget about the matter. I decided to report to the matter to the in-charge for that shift, Senior SN S. SSN S tried to avoid the issue altogether. When I pushed her regarding the proper procedure, she advised me to inform the ward manager myself. Thus, I left a note and the wrong medication in my ward manager's office.

The next day, during report passing, the ward manager L gave us a long briefing about how medication errors can occur. While she briefly acknowledged that she signed off for the wrongly administered medicine, she emphasised (i.e. > 90% of the lecture time) on the breakdown of the pre-administration checks. From the failure of the staff who put the medication into the wrong shelf when topping up the ward-stock, to the new staff SN S who did not countercheck properly. When she mentioned that I did the right thing by checking the medication before administering it, I could only give a wry smile.

Then, my ward manager L instructed me to log an incident report for the matter and told me that she will speak to the consultant doctor in-charge of the patient herself. From my understanding, the staff involved in the incident (i.e. contributing to the mistake or in-charge when the incident occurred) is responsible for logging an incident report. My other understanding is that staff performance may be penalised for incidents logged. Thus, I asked in my mind, "Why me? I'm not the cause of the problem."

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WP asked if I had checked if my ward manager actually logged a medication error incident report for the matter. I told her that by then, I couldn't care less. My main intent was to observe the reactions of the people involved, especially the lead actress.

Friday, August 20, 2010