Friday, February 28, 2014

Runaway bride

A day before the wedding ceremony and I am beginning to grasp why there is the term "runaway bride". And I am only having a small wedding -- less than 30 pax, including the Marriage Commissioner, bride, groom, et al!

DD while nice, is typical of guys -- he does things when asked to, otherwise leaves the "detail-work" and "relationship stuff" (e.g. tracking of gifts and tokens of appreciation) to the female in his life.

When we were taking out the wedding stuff from the cupboard yesterday night, I realized that it is mostly my project with the help of mainly my local friends. DD sent his suits to the dry-cleaners, ordered the cake and the post-ceremony brunch. DD's friends have been assigned tasks that are optional -- in fact, he has not even told some of his friends their "assigned tasks" at the wedding! I had better remind DD to follow-up on these "relationship" stuff -- not to drop-the-ball on his friends last minute.

Then the in-laws came to town, one day earlier than expected -- that really threw me a curve ball as I thought we should spend time with them while they are here. DD claims, "We don't have to spend time with them if we're busy, they'll understand." Urgh! So clueless about relationship management!

In the midst of unpacking as mentioned above, DD stated that we need to formally explain the auspicious symbolism of our wedding dessert (a traditional Cantonese wedding item) when all through our previous discussions about how the ceremony would go, there is no mention of any need to explain stuff. As DD puts it last night, "Well your friends probably know it all already, but my friends don't."

Then DD started to define last minute details of how the music volume should be controlled and synchronized with the events, when previously he said, "It's very simple, just go from one playlist to the next!" Well, he better explain these details to my friend EM.

And DD didn't even put them across as last minute requests, more like a statement of how things should be done. I do not like it, that is NOT how requests should be communicated nor the way projects should be managed. If there is a need to fudge/control details like this rather than let things run their own course, DD should have asked for a rehearsal. I'm wondering if I'm dealing with a hint of a groomzilla here instead of a bridezilla!

Today is the eve of the big day. I had left today for stuff that were meant to be for pampering myself, laying out the bride stuff and selecting/downloading electronic photos that we want to display (since we have both taken the day-off). Now I have add-on worries on my head and the nerves are creeping on me! Runaway bride sounds fabulously tempting -- except that I'll do the sensible thing and have a good talk with DD once he wakes up.


[Update 28-Feb-2014 at 10:10am]

We've just talked about how I felt. All's ok now. That's why I'm marrying DD -- we bring each other joy and we're able to talk things over even when one/both parties are upset.


[Update 01-Mar-2014 at 10:40pm]

By yesterday evening, we were both thinking "We'll be glad when this whole wedding thing is over."

When we woke up this morning, we talked about our "alternate wedding" if we could get away with it. My version would be a small pot-luck party: when everyone arrived and have settled down, we sign the papers with the witnesses and Marriage Commissioner. DD's version: Just the bride, groom and 2 witnesses go to the Marriage Commissioner's office and sign the papers; then we return home to party with friends.

It's amazing that we got a wedding ceremony and post-wedding reception put together and we kept remarking how it would not have been possible without our good friends helping out in various ways, especially ZS and JX, AA, and PN. Our guests feedback that they loved our small intimate wedding where guests had the chance to mingle and get to know the bride, groom, and other guests. 在家靠父母,出外靠朋友。 [We can count on our parents at home, but in society we need to count on friends.]

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Death, illness, recovery

It has been a strange start to this Chinese Lunar New Year -- Year of the Yang Wood Horse. 

Someone passed away sooner than expected. 

My good friend PN is down with pneumonia. As she shared, at one point it felt as if she was dying. I know that feeling from experience. Thankfully, she is recovering.

Today, I just learned that another (young) local friend has been admitted into ICU for some days now. He had a cardiac arrest (Code Blue) and a couple of other issues.

I wonder if the universe is trying to send me a message. If so, I hope the message is simply, "You're getting older."