The Elopement

DD and I are calling our plan to be legally married -- "our elopement".

Here's the inspiration: DD was visiting his family in Alberta, Canada, over the Christmas break. According to DD somewhere along his family chit-chat...

DD's sister exclaimed, "Without this, without that. That's not a wedding!"

DD's dad calmly remarked/explained, "They are not having a wedding, dear. They are eloping. It's just that they have the courtesy to inform us in advance."

DD's dad loves the idea of a simple wedding. When I told my sister of DD's dad's response, my sister commented that DD's dad seems like "a very understanding and smart guy!"

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My sister should know. I was living with my parents when both sisters got married, and what a nightmare each pre-wedding banquet period was with my parents quarrelling almost daily/nightly. Plus, having helped with and been to numerous friends' grand weddings, I don't want any of that stress for myself.

I recall years ago while my younger sister was busy planning her wedding with her fiance. For some reason or other (which I cannot recall), my mother was grumbling repeatedly about the wedding plans. As it was the second wedding in the family and I've observed that my mother would grumble each time, so my response to her was (in Cantonese), “轮到我的时候，我就私奔。” [Literary: "When it comes to my turn, I'll elope." Indirectly reminding my mother to appreciate the fact that my 2 sisters held grand weddings as per her wishes.]

Thankfully, DD is not into grand weddings too. Now in our middle-aged years, we have both witnessed that the grandeur of the wedding has no correlation with the longevity of the marriage nor the happiness of the couple going forward. We would both be happy with just the Marriage Commissioner and 2 witnesses if we could get away with it. But then, it may be the only wedding in DD's family (besides his parents'), so we agreed to have a small and simple ceremony.

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Life is like a Cup of Coffee

Indeed each person has his/her own idea of what an ideal wedding should be. Some friends are surprised that I do not want an engagement ring (I asked for a gold coin instead); some surprised that we are not planning on a honeymoon (although we do have to make an obligatory trip to Singapore at some point); others are shocked that we're holding the ceremony in our living room instead of renting "a wedding hall/venue"; yet others are shocked that we may even consider going without wedding rings. So it is really up to the couple to negotiate on what would be acceptable to both. To paraphrase the "Life is like a cup of coffee" story above...

"Marriage is like a cup of coffee; it does not matter if you entered it holding nice-looking expensive cups or plain cheap ones. The only thing that matters is whether you enjoy the coffee."

Products of society

A Canadian friend wrote on his Facebook wall,

Suddenly remembering what my Sociology Prof said years ago on our 1st day: "You are all products of your society..."

I commented,

Fortunately or unfortunately, I failed the "product quality assurance checks" by my society (Singapore), and thus landed up in Canada. :-P

My Canadian friend FB "Like" my comment.

p.s. I don't think I want to be a "quality" product of the "uniquely Singapore" society. Click here, here and here to see why.

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[Addendum on 01-Feb-2013]

Another friend (Iranian-origin, now residing in B.C., Canada) of my Canadian friend commented,

On the contrary, I think it is our society that is our product

My Canadian friend FB "Like" his comment.

IMHO, it is true too. The individuals/people form the society and also voted for the politicians who make the laws, which in turn creates societal norms which mould people's attitudes. That said, the implication of what it says about the typical Singaporean is pretty sad.

Early alert for Mayan end-of-world

This is a shout-out to folks who live in Australia, NZ and Singapore. If the Mayan Friday 21-Dec-2012 end-of-the-world happens to you in 3 hours' time, please drop a comment to give us folks in Canada an early alert. [We are only in the wee hours of Thursday morning right now.] Hahah! :-D

Otherwise, have a happy year-end and an awesome 2013, everyone!

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[Addendum on 21-Dec-2012]

From Yahoo! News sourced from "The New York Times", a group of thieves stole $18 million worth of Canadian maple syrup from the "global strategic maple syrup reserve". Hmm, maybe the strategic reserve of maple syrup serves to sweeten relations with the Mayan gods to save the globe from imminent destruction.

GNIE: Emotionless Sinkie nurse vs Emotional Pinoy nurse

When I read in blogosphere commentaries about Singaporeans being the world's most emotionless people, I laughed. [Click here and here.]

According to CNN on 23-Nov-2012, 

"The 36% in Singapore who reported feeling anything is the lowest in the world. ... The Philippines, meanwhile, registered as the most emotional nation, with 60% of those interviewed responding "yes" to experiencing a lot of feelings daily."

I have a funny anecdote to share that illustrate the above. Now my GNIE classmate AP is a Filipino and I am a Singaporean. Sometime last week, we were both stressed because we were both being closely supervised by our respective preceptors and were unsure if our preceptors would pass us. In AP's case, her fears were raised when the Clinical Instructor (CI) told her that she would be given a "Learning Contract" after hearing feedback from her preceptor regarding her performance. In my case, I was concerned because I made many minor mistakes at work and my preceptor had remarked to me, "See she is so independent. She is near the end of her preceptorship" when she saw how comparatively independent my other classmate LY was at the unit.

Being good friends at school, AP called me to talk about her fears after she was told that she would be put on Learning Contract. I listened for awhile and then re-directed her to focus on her anecdotal notes. When she continued rambling on about her fear of possibly failing, I shared mine too. It caught her by surprise, since my classmates' perception of me is generally (to borrow AP's words), "You're good. You don't need to worry. You will pass." 

Going by our previous experience of writing anecdotal notes for "self-reflection and evaluation", we decided that we would write good anecdotal notes to "save" ourselves. I spent 6 hours writing a super-duper detailed account of every little mistake that I made and/or issue that my preceptor highlighted to me. Just as I clicked the "Save" button, the secure online connection (https) logged me out because of time-out. As a result, I spent another 2 hours re-doing my anecdotal notes -- still detailed but not as long-winded as before. I stuck to the facts of what happened, so as to give my CI an "objective" idea of how closely supervised I was, but I avoided citing my personal feelings or opinions of the events.

Since it is known that I had a comparatively stronger command of English, AP approached me to edit her anecdotal notes. IMHO [which I did feedback to AP], AP's original anecdotal notes was one long rambling mess, everything in a single continuous paragraph, without formatting (not even capitalizing letters as per normal sentence structures) nor structure. What struck me was her clear insistence to state how she felt. [Below is an extract of AP's anecdotal notes after editing by me.]

"I felt somewhat stressed and pressured being under constant supervision, especially while taking the nurse’s full workload. In addition, the nurse interrupted me frequently while I was attending to my other patients, regarding the need to check for the latest lab-work reports and doctors’ orders. Although I noted that I needed to check the lab-works and doctors’ orders regularly, I am still not comfortable handling the frequent interruptions, which scrambled my plan/prioritization and broke my flow of care."

Coincidentally, we were both under the same CI (even though our preceptorship were at different hospitals) and we both submitted our anecdotal notes around the same time. Reading our anecdotal notes side-by-side, there was a clear difference in how the 2 nationalities express their emotional side -- the stoic me vs the expressive AP -- much like the stoic stiff-upper-lip Brits vs the expressive Italians.

Here is an extract of the CI's reply to my anecdotal notes:

Hi [WD],
Thank you for your detailed anecdotal. I am wondering how you are feeling about this experience. Are you learning and starting to feel more comfortable or are you feeling some pressure/stress? ...

Yah, even my CI found me too stoic! Haha!

[Addendum: See also Gallup's poll 19-Dec-2012 report, "Latin Americans Most Positive in the World; Singaporeans are the least positive worldwide".]

Filipino party and Coquitlam river

The Filipinos in my GNIE sub-group decided to have a BBQ/party and invited me along. I am officially their "adopted Filipino". Cool! We also adopted a Filipino from the other sub-group as he fits better with my sub-group than with his own sub-group, given his easy-going attitude (see "neutral party in Group A" in my earlier blog entry).

At Practicum, we learnt from a Filipino RN there who was our senior from the GNEA program (predecessor of the GNIE program) that their class had a Polish who was "adopted" by the Filipinos in their sub-group too.

AA and I were sad that LP has left our sub-group for she was the "social glue" of the Filipino sub-group. With LP gone, I resolved to make more effort to befriend DL and JC. [Click here and here for my past experience with them.] Afterall, despite some of my negative experience with them, I recognize that their behaviour was more driven by insecurity than anything else. From private feedback (i.e. individuals telling/complaining to me his/her experience with them), I recognize that their behaviour was not personally directed at me. E.g. Even their fellow Filipinos suffered backstabbing from them. It is just who they are at this current point. 

In case you are wondering why I would increase my effort to befriend DL and JC despite their history of backstabbing, even of "their own kind". Here are some wise words borrowed from Dotseng, "This is how politics is conducted in business – there are never any true enemies or friends only merchants of convenience play this game."

Anyway, we had a really nice afternoon, with jovial people bringing food to the potluck. There was lots of yummy food. IJ baked some creamed potatoes (2 special bacon-free pieces for me) and roasted a pig's head for the first time. And I can tell from the colour and texture (by touch) that he did the pig's head excellently. [Albeit I did not eat the pig's head because I am vegetarian.] JC and DL prepared a lovely salad, with shrimp paste similar to Thai salad. [I ate a bit of that to "give face". Thankfully, I'm not so strictly vegetarian.] The desserts prepared by Mrs IT (egg custard flan) and Mrs WA (cassava flan) were excellent. I brought along perogi. Other food include beef spaghetti, Crispy Creme donuts, KFC nuggets (especially popular with the children), spring rolls (non-vegetarian), yam fries, and various items (including ice-cream sandwich) from IJ's well-stock fridge. IJ was a really great host -- stuffing us with so much food and drinks (soda, beer, wine, etc), and keeping us away from doing the dishes!

Coquitlam River

After we have gorged ourselves silly with food, we decided to take a walk down to Coquitlam river nearby. The summer air was warm, trees were shady, the river water was cool and clear, so clear that you can see each pebble on the riverbed. IJ warned us to watch out for bears as he had seen them before at the park. We did not meet any bear but JC incredibly caught a bird with her bare hands! As the bird flew and hopped by the group, various persons made failed attempts at catching it. Only JC was persistent enough to keep trying and finally caught the bird. She was so gentle with it -- stroking the initially-frightened and struggling bird, until it calmed down and started looking around as if nothing happened while it nestled in JC's hand. Once JC opened her hand to release the bird, it flew away to a nearby tree and looked at us from high-grounds. The children had an awesome time playing in the water and throwing pebbles/rocks into the river. IJ said that he would invite us back to watch the salmons run upstream when the salmon spawning season arrives. We are all looking forward to it.

JC with a bird in her hand, 

definitely worth more than 2 in the bush!

Note: Struggling bird (L or top), Calm bird (R or bottom)

After the walk, we returned to IJ's home and resumed feasting. DL took out a karaoke set with tons of pre-recorded song. According to JC, every Filipino household has such a set because all Filipinos love to sing. In fact, everyone in the group (including 2 of the children) took turns to sing, except for the 2 Mrs and IJ. IJ declined to sing, he said that he couldn't sing well. It was a running joke that whenever I sang, either solo or as a duet, the system kept giving high scores -- that the karaoke system was perhaps "made in China" and therefore "racist". I agreed with the joke because frankly I was off-key, missed timings and missed words, etc, but the others sang well (especially JC).

At one point in the evening, IJ's mom who lives in the storey above dropped by. I am glad that she welcomed us and did not mind the ruckus we were creating in our merry-making. 

Time flies when one is having fun. Before long, IT bade goodbye as it was bedtime for his 4 month-old baby girl. [We joked that her nickname is "Semester 2" as she was born at the start of this GNIE semester.] We all left together as it was already past 9pm!

Jesus and the image consultant

WARNING: Some may find the joke in this blog entry offensive. If you're easily offended, please DO NOT READ beyond the dotted line below.

By continuing to read beyond the dotted line below, you certify that you are not offended by jokes (of any kind) and language (of any kind), and you warrant that you understand that the purpose of this blog entry is entirely satirical and humorous, and therefore this blog entry will not affect in any way whatsoever your opinion of any persons or situations depicted in this blog entry, whether living, dead, real, fictional or otherwise.

DOTTED LINE BELOW

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PLEASE READ THE ABOVE WARNING ABOVE THE DOTTED LINE BEFORE PROCEEDING WITH THIS BLOG ENTRY. BY CONTINUING TO READ BEYOND THIS PARAGRAPH, IT IS DEEMED THAT YOU AGREE TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS STATED ABOVE. 

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[Ok, ok, so you agree to the terms and conditions above. Here's my original* joke below. 
*Note: Only the words are mine, the images are sourced from the internet as specified.]

Jesus and his flock
[Source: http://www.timshen.truepath.com/christian/jesus.htm]

Jesus approached an image consultant to resolve the issue of declining church attendance.

The image consultant hesitated for a moment and then said, "The problem can be solved easily. However, you may not want to do it."

Jesus replied in earnest, "Pray, tell me what is the solution? I would do anything to bring the flock back to my Father".

"Ok", the image consultant relented. He brought Jesus to a hairstylist to get a new hair-do. Then he passed Jesus a pile of clothes saying, "Change into these and it will bring up your church attendance."

Jesus went into the changing room. After a while, Jesus came out looking like this.

Chinese god of wealth 财神爷

[Source: http://en.yuen.com.my/brief-story-about-wealth-of-god/]

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p.s. Sorry about the long and repeated warnings. I still want to be able to enter and leave Singapore freely, you know.

Local Stand-up Comedy - an assimilation self-test

As I've mentioned in my previous blog entry, I went to a Canadian stand-up comedy performance recently, a double-bill by Paul Bae and Charles Demers. They have collaborated previously before. See below for an example.

Bucket (Bae & Demers) @ Urban Well 9th Anniversary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4RbuPO7Rd4

I had a good time laughing that night. I caught about 90-95% of Paul's jokes, excluding the bits with specific North American politicians' names because I am not familiar yet with most North American politicians' names. I caught about 85-90% of Charlie's jokes. It took me a couple of seconds before I caught-on about the "track-suit wearing" Brit-copy-cat Canadians. I laughed especially loudly when Charlie joked about the dangers of dating an Asian because one can never tell how old they really are.

If you watch the embedded video below, you'd realize that Charlie has an East Asian wife. When we were collaborating on a theatre project last spring/summer, he declined to guess my age when that topic came up. He told me that he had learned from experience -- his East Asian in-laws look nowhere near their ages -- that it is impossible (from his perspective) to guess an Asian's age.

Comedian Charlie Demers on the ups and downs of giftgiving, on DNTO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoPHgzuzWxc


At the end of the evening, it occurred to me that one has to understand the local psyche and issues to be able to catch many of the jokes on a local stand-up comedy night. Thus, IMHO, a local stand-up comedy could serve as a self-evaluation tool on how well one has assimilated.

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What are the Singaporean equivalent of local stand-up comedies for the Singapore immigrants to do a self-assessment? I believe that there are many. The following are a few suggestions.

Mr Brown and his satirical podcasts
http://www.mrbrownshow.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_3MGNVH8qs


30Aug 2006 TalkingCock in Parliment -Ruby Pan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCsZdbfBuSY
Google "Youtube Indignation 2006" for the entire series.


Dick lee song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRTApB9hQqo

Filipino green = Chinese yellow

I learned from my Filipino GNIE classmates today that "green" for them is the same as "yellow" 黄色 for the Chinese when it comes to jokes, comics, dialogue, etc.

Then my classmates combined the 2 together and called their jokes yellow-green jokes. Then someone quipped, "Yellow plus green... equals purulent. Purulent jokes!"

We had a good laugh.

[Addendum on 14-Feb-2012]
We were still joking about it during nursing lab today. Then another classmate chipped in that it's "blue" for the English. E.g. Blue movie (a film).

Pride and panties

My Filipino classmates shared a funny saying with me over lunch today.

"Pride is just like panties. Nothing will happen if it doesn't come down."

Initially, I took it to mean that it is desirable that "nothing will happen" (i.e. no rape). Then I thought it was strange that it would be beneficial for pride to not come down. In addition, the tone of voice used by my classmates indicated that they were referring to something undesirable. So I clarified with them.

As it turns out, for the Filipinos, "nothing will happen" refers to no sexual intercourse would take place. That would be an undesirable result as one would want to enjoy the fruits of love. This contrasts with the Chinese concept of proper behaviour, where sex is typically a taboo topic. It was funny how the crux of the joke would have been lost if I had not clarified about the cultural gap.

PR card

I just received my Canadian PR card. [According to the Community Airport Newcomers Network booklet, the PR card is usually mailed out in about 6 weeks from the landing date. However, based on the experience of people who shared with me, the norm is more like 2 to 3 months.]

It has been delayed because the original photo, taken in a Singapore studio, was not acceptable. Instead of having the required neutral expression, I was smiling.

When I posed for the photo re-shoot at a Canadian studio, I was still smiling widely. Fortunately, the photographer knew the requirements of Citizenship and Immigration Canada. Thus, she instructed me to smile less broadly for the shot.

Guess, I can't help smiling because I feel lucky to be in Canada.

Billion-dollar woman

After Christmas and Boxing week, sales slowed down. In addition, we entered into preparations for inventory audit and thus there were minimal stock shipment received.

One particular boring afternoon, I played with the manual price tagger and made myself a price tag with

• the store code,
• my 5-digit employee number [in place of the 6-digit product code], and
• a price of $999,999,999 [the maximum value from the tagger].

Then I pasted it on my work vest just above my name tag.

A few colleagues noticed the price tag and we had some good laughs over it. I joked, "Yes, I feel like a billion dollars."

One observant colleague remarked, "That's not a billion dollars."

And I replied, "Well, you've got to give some tips. At least a loonie."

p.s. "Loonie" is the Canadian slang for a dollar.

Fill-up that A-hole

Sales is brisk this week given the holiday seasonal promotions. My colleague R and I were re-stocking the fast-moving electronic games shelves. The games are divided into sections and arranged alphabetically within each section.

Being more experienced, he was up on the ladder picking up the titles for re-fill. My role was to scan through the shelves and shout to him the sold-out titles -- a.k.a. "holes in the display wall" -- that need to be replaced by new titles. We were quickly running out of new titles.

When we were almost done, I shouted, "We still need something to put into the 'A' hole."

Colleague R, still up on the ladder, turned around and laughed, "You're funny!"

I looked somewhat puzzled.

R, still tickled, teased, "That's a naughty thing to say."

"Oops, I didn't mean it that way!" I replied. And I started laughing too.

No! No! No!

We had a 2 year-old boy with a Caucasian daddy and Chinese mommy admitted for Influenza A, and thus required to be isolated. As anyone who has handled active toddlers will know, it's hard to keep an active toddler happily entertained in a small room for days.

It's day 4. The boy was crying to go to the playroom this morning. Daddy called for the nurse to enquire if the boy could spend some time there since he was to be discharged for further management at home. Unfortunately, the boy was still not cleared to be de-isolated. Then, daddy tried to trick boy into drinking his milk (given his reduced intake for the past days) by making it a pre-condition to playing outside.

Daddy, "Do you want to drink your milk? You can go out to play only after you drink your milk."

Boy, "No!"

Nurse (me), "How about Ribena?"

Boy, "No!"

"Water?", "No!", "Milk?", "No!", "Apple juice?", "No!", "Orange juice?", "No!". And on it goes with the "terrible twos". Fortunately, daddy has patience and a sense of humour.

Finally, I teased, "How about some beer?"

Boy, "No!"

Daddy chimed in, "Champagne?"

Boy, "No!"

Daddy remarked with mock surprise, "You don't want some champagne? What a pity!"

We both laughed.

Ghosted in translation

SN L and SEN MY are both from the same nation, one which borders China. SEN MY is half-Chinese and grew up near at a border village which frequently trades with travelling Chinese merchants. Thus, she speaks fluent Chinese. SN L, on the other hand, understands only a few Chinese words and has an English-speaking Indian grandfather.

One day, a patient's grandmother was speaking to SN L in Chinese. She probably thought that SN L understands Chinese based on her nationality. SN L only caught the keywords, “有很多．．．？” and “小孩” ["Are there many?" and "children"].

Thinking that the grandma was asking about the patient census, SN L replied, “很多，很多。” ["Yes, there are many."]

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The next day (day 3 of admission for the patient), the patient was for discharge. Of course, most parents are eager to bring their children home. In this case, the patient's father chased the staff several times for discharge immediately after the doctor has reviewed and approved it (while the doctor was still reviewing other patients). I thought that he was extraordinarily eager to get his pre-schooler out of the hospital.

Towards the end of the shift, SEN MY gave me the answer to my puzzle. She was tickled and eager to share her joke. It was due to what patient's grandmother told SEN MY earlier that morning.

On the 1st night of admission, the patient was fretful and refused to sleep. The next day (day 2 of admission), the patient told the grandmother about seeing "someone" under her bed, which was near the door. Thus, the parents insisted on changing to the bed nearer the window (in the 2-bedded room) when the neighbouring patient was discharged that morning. The grandmother asked SN L in Chinese if there are many ghosts in the ward and if any of the children were frightened. “這里有很多鬼嗎？小孩害怕嗎？“

As mentioned above, the meaning was lost-in-translation and thus the ward became (haunted) "ghosted"-in-translation. The patient's grandmother then expressed her concern over the ghosts to SEN MY on day 3 of admission, the morning of discharge. SEN MY had to explain that the ward is not ghosted, but the grandma remained sceptical. Thus, I think that explains the patient's father's eagerness to be discharged.

You are wrong because

While spring-cleaning, I found an old Dilbert book "The Joy of Work - Dilbert's guide to finding happiness at the expense of your co-workers". It was a gift from my brother, who also happened to be in IT, who in-turn received the book as a gift from a couple for Christmas 1998.

Anyway, flipping through the old book before giving it away, I came across this chapter "Managing Your Co-workers", where it listed common arguments made by irrational people. Really love the humourous way it approaches meta-thinking. While reading through the list, it occurred to me how often we hear such irrational arguments from the Singaporean politicians-in-power, managers at work, etc.

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[Extracted from "The Joy of Work - Dilbert's guide to finding happiness at the expense of your co-workers" by Scott Adams.]

You Are Wrong Because

For your convenience, I have circled the brain malfunction(s) that most closely resemble(s) the one(s) you recently made on the topic of (fill in topic): ______________________________

1. Amazingly bad analogy
E.g. You can train a dog to fetch a stick. Therefore, you can train a potato to dance.

2. Faulty cause and effect
E.g. On the basis of my observations, wearing huge pants makes you fat.

3. I am the world
E.g. I don't listen to country music. Therefore, country music is not popular.

4. Ignoring everything science knows about the brain
E.g. People choose to be obese/gay/alcoholic because they prefer the lifestyle.

5. The few are the same as the whole
E.g. Some Elbonians are animal rights activists. Some Elbonians wear fur coats. Therefore, Elbonians are hypocrites.

6. Generalizing from self
E.g. I'm a liar. Therefore, I don't believe what you're saying.

7. Argument by bizarre definition
E.g. He's not a criminal. He just does things that are against the law.

8. Total logical disconnect
E.g. I enjoy pasta because my house is made of bricks.

9. Judging thing without comparison to alternatives
E.g. I don't invest in U.S. Treasury bills. There's too much risk. [Note: This book was published in 1998, the world economy was different back then.]

10. Anything you don't understand is easy to do
E.g. If you have the right tools, how hard could it be to generate nuclear fission at home?

11. Ignorance of statistics
E.g. I am putting ALL of my money on the lottery this week because the jackpot is so big.

12. Ignoring the downside risk
E.g. I know that bungee jumping could kill me, but it's three seconds of great fun!

13. Substituting famous quotes for common sense
E.g. Remember, "All things come to those who wait." So don't bother looking for a job.

14. Irrelevant comparisons
E.g. A hundred dollars is a good price for a toaster, compared to buying a Ferrari.

15. Circular reasoning
E.g. I'm correct because I'm smarter than you. And I must be smarter than you because I'm correct.

16. Incompleteness as proof of defect
E.g. Your theory of gravity doesn't address the question of why there are no unicorns, so it must be wrong.

17. Ignoring the advice of experts without a good reason
E.g. Sure, the experts think you shouldn't ride a bicycle into the eye of a hurricane, but I have my own theory.

18. Following the advice of known idiots
E.g. Uncle Billy says pork makes you smarter. That's good enough for me!

19. Reaching bizarre conclusions without any information
E.g. The car won't start. I'm certain the spark plugs have been stolen by rogue clowns.

20. Faulty pattern recognition
E.g. His last six wives were murdered mysteriously. I hope to be wife number seven.

21. Failure to recognize what's important
E.g. My house is on fire! Quick, call the post office and tell them to hold my mail!

22. Unclear on the concept of sunk costs
E.g. We've spent millions developing a water-powered pogo stick. We can't stop investing now or it will all be wasted.

23. Over-application of Occam's razor (which says the simplest explanation is usually right)
E.g. The simplest explanation for the moon landings is that they were hoaxes.

24. Ignoring all anecdotal evidence
E.g. I always get hives immediately after eating strawberries. But without a scientifically controlled experiment, it's not reliable data. So I continue to eat strawberries every day, since I can't tell if they cause hives.

25. Inability to understand that some things have multiple choices
E.g. The Beatles were popular for one reason only: They were good singers.

26. Judging the whole by one of its characteristics
E.g. The sun causes sunburns. Therefore, the planet would be better off without the sun.

27. Blinding flashes of the obvious
E.g. If everyone had more money, we could eliminate poverty.

28. Blaming the tool
E.g. I bought an encyclopedia but I'm still stupid. This encyclopedia must be defective.

29. Hallucinations of reality
E.g. I got my facts from a talking tree.

30. Taking things to their illogical conclusion
E.g. If you let your barber cut your hair, the next thing you know he'll be lopping off your limbs!

31. Failure to understand why rules don't have exceptions
E.g. It should be legal to shoplift, as long as you don't take enough to hurt the company's earnings.

32. Proof by lack of evidence
E.g. I've never seen you drunk, so you must be one of those Amish people.

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Have fun applying the above meta-thinking to challenge irrational statements!

Gammaguard face

Last week we had a Guillian Barre Syndrome case which required IV immunoglobulin (IgG). SN L was in-charge that afternoon, with me and SN RB taking teams. SN L is relatively new as the in-charge, and both SN RB and myself are less than 1 year old at the ward. Unfortunately, ICU was full due to several Code Blue cases, thus we had to nurse this case in at the ward instead of ICU. SN L put up the telemetry for ICU auto-monitoring. An ICU nurse, SN R, came to assist with the 1st 5-10min of IV IgG. The 9 year old patient was under the care of my team, so I spent the 1st 15min monitoring her by the bedside, and thereafter close monitoring following ICU's usual practice. When her 2nd dose of IV IgG was due, I was again there to start it.

Today we have a Kawasaki case which also required IV immunoglobulin (IgG). The ward manager was in-charge this morning, followed by SSN R [as in-charge] this afternoon. Both I and my runner senior HCA M were on double shift, taking the team caring for the Kawasaki patient. This child is autistic and his mother felt that he could not be acclimatised to the ICU environment. Thus, treating him in the ICU would entail heavy sedatives or restrains. In the end, the decision was made to nurse him in the ward instead of ICU. This time round, it is a bigger risk. The child's mother insisted that the child would pull-off any telemetry device and any attempts to take his BP would agitate him beyond control. Even setting the IV plug and keeping it on him for the duration of IV IgG would be a challenge. Thus it was back to old-fashioned nursing, with visual assessment of his alertness, responses, respiration rate and the occasional pulse rate assessment. Thankfully everything went smoothly.

Our colloquial term for IgG is Gammaguard. At the end of the shift, SSN R joked that both of us have the "Gammaguard face". I surely seem to have double the luck, for I was there to start both the initial IV IgG.

Multi-facet thing

I am at the Budget Terminal waiting for the boarding gate to open. Perhaps it's the "getting away from it all" of vacation. For the past few days, I am hearing and seeing things from multiple angles.

Example 1: Yesterday ward manager mentioned how good LKY is. My usual response would be to go "Bah!", even if only internally. However, I was more circumspect and noted that her comment was valid from her own personal experience. [Note: My ward manager is an ex-Malaysian Chinese, converted to Singaporean citizenship.]

Example 2: Had my confirmation review with my ward manager today. IMHO, she is a much better leader than ADON G, who is currently her boss. I learnt about how my ward manager was transferred to be ADON for 6 weeks years ago. She came back to the ward to settle the chaos that ensured after her departure. Then I thought, "Well, at least this organization is not that hopeless. They did spot the leadership talent in my ward manager, just that circumstances were such that she stayed as the ward manager."

Another thing I noticed is that if I go on a vacation mode and am not conscious with my budget, I "spend money like water". I have not boarded the flight yet, but I have already spent almost $20 at the airport! There are just too many attractive material things available for sale. Ironically, I am going on a spa, detox and meditative break. Ha ha :-D

Students on work exposure

Our hospital is hosting some GCE 'A' levels students (i.e. 16-18 year olds) for work exposure this week. Some were from the junior colleges and some from the Integrated Programme.

3 students came by my ward around 2pm this afternoon, expecting someone to show them around. The sad truth is there is the nursing staff here are already stretched with their own duties. Unlike some hospitals, there is no Clinical Instructor at the ward with the time to show them around. I asked if they could come back another day or time, but it seems that they had a specific time-slot scheduled (2-5pm today) to be at my ward.

At 3+pm, I finished the outstanding work from my morning duties. The 3 students were still standing in front of the nursing station awaiting instructions, and looking lost as to what to do. Finally, I checked with my preceptor SSN Y who was the afternoon in-charge and offered to show them briefly around. I showed them our facilities, equipment, some paperwork and processes, the staff, etc.

One male student asked the typical questions raised to a paediatric nurse, "Is the job stressful? Is it very stressful to hear the children crying all the time?"

I joked, "Wow, like job interview questions like that".

Then I continued, "It depends on individuals. For me, I have taught at a childcare centre before, and I don't find the crying stressful. Of course, if you find it stressful, you can choose another specialization. During our nursing training, we are exposed to different wards, so you'd have an idea what you prefer. Some prefer to handle children while others prefer to talk to the elderly. Nowadays, the HR departments for nursing are quite open, and they will consider their employees' preferences when assigning the ward. For example, my male classmates prefer A&E, they were assigned there and are enjoying themselves."

He said, "Yes, where the action is."

"Yes, and minimal report passing", I added.

"Yes, minimal report passing" he reflected with a wide grin and we laughed.

Getting to the point, I told them, "Nursing is not just caring for the patients, but we also handle other administrative work. E.g. Room assignments, for which we may have to deal with irate parents awaiting for the limited number of single-bedded rooms. The stress also come in when you have several patients that need your attention simultaneously. E.g. If one patient's oxygen level suddenly drops, another needs attention on the IV, etc. That's why team work is important. We cannot survive without teamwork here." (Actually the example I cited happened earlier that afternoon, just before the students arrive. Ha ha!)

At one point during the briefing, my afternoon colleague HCA M distributed payslips to the 2 afternoon SNs and I at the nursing counter. We all had a big smiles on getting our payslips. I joked to the students, "Yay! The happiest time of the month."

We were done at 4:10pm and I signed their orientation forms. I told them cheerfully that they could have an early-off. They then looked at each other, uncertain as to what to do. It occurred to me that these are hardworking and keen-to-learn students, where ideas of leaving early or “吃蛇” or ponteng in Singlish (pronounced as "pond-ten") are remote concepts. They lingered for a while more until some students assigned to the other wards joined them.

After they left, a consultant, who observed part of my briefing, teased, "Don't make it sound so easy to them. It's not that easy."

I replied, "They are young, only 16 or 17. Must give them hope, mah!"

My preceptor chipped in, "These are the bright kids, future doctors whom we may have to work with."

We laughed.

NBM, NPU

Sometime last week, I met SN JM on my way to work.

SN JM is the best "informal" nursing preceptor I had throughout my student training. When we first met, she was an EN. From what I heard, she is a foreign-trained nurse who was downgraded locally to become a HCA, and was then promoted to EN, SEN and finally an SN after passing the SN qualification tests at Nanyang Polytechnic. Although SN JM came from the same country as SEN M, they have very different attitudes towards students and new staff. Unlike SEN M, SEN JM treats all new-comers well and was willing to share the secrets of the trade.

I asked how SN JM how she was. She replied, "So busy until NBM and NPU."

Note: For those not in Singapore nursing; NBM = Nil By Mouth (i.e. do not eat/drink), NPU = No Pass Urine. Please note that the acronyms may mean different things in other countries' nursing documentation. E.g. In B.C., Canada, NBM = No Bowel Movement (i.e. no stool), NPO = Nil Per Oral (i.e. do not eat/drink).

We laughed at how that would be a serious problem for our patients, but we nurses have to bear with such physical conditions. Then we talked about how the hospital was bursting at its seams for that few weeks. SN JM had this joke to share.

"One day we had a patient that just passed away and his family was gathered around the body, dealing with the loss. Admissions already had another patient waiting for the bed!"

Stupid

We had a 12 year-old girl with a proliferated appendix who went for an emergency appendicectomy on Monday. She had be on Nil-By-Mouth since post-op. In addition, she had an NGT (nasogastro tube), IDC (indwelling catheter), 2 IV drips (one Dextrose Saline for fluid intake and one Normal Saline with KCl for ml-by-ml replacement of NGT freeflow drainage+aspirate), a syringe pumping Morphine and 8 hourly IV antibiotics.

Today while assisting my colleague to change her hospital gown, I accidentally touched her NGT and she remarked audibly, "Stupid!"

I kept my cool and ignored her remark. Labelling the very people whom she depends on to get well as stupid? She doesn't realize the irony of her remark. Besides, unless her IQ prevails over 99% of the population, calling me stupid would mean she's even more so. Of course, she doesn't realize that too, ha ha!

Anyway, I shared about her remark with some of the afternoon staff when they came for work. Apparently this child has been rude to the other staff members yesterday too.

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After interacting with many children at work, I am beginning to understand why my ward manager often cite poor parenting as the cause of lack of social grace. I would reckon that 90% of the children we get are well-behaved considering their illness. The remaining 10% often have caregivers/parents that fall into the following categories.

• Parents/grandparents who treat the maids with poor social graces and the children copy likewise,
• Parents who assume that their maids will discipline their children without delegating to them the authority to do so,
• Parents who show strong favouritism towards one child over another, and
• Overly protective parents/grandparents.

While we cannot blame our parents for our behaviour as adults, I am persuaded that the foundation is laid during our formative childhood years. It would take much conscientious awareness on our part for change to occur. Sometimes though, serendipity plays a part.