Sleep camel

This is the final week of my GNIE training, since I have finished my preceptorship ahead of schedule. I have an exam on Tuesday, and then I am done.

Looking back at my sleep pattern for the past year, I realize that I am quite a sleep camel. [Click here or here for description.] According to the Word Spy website, quoting "News" from The Guardian (London):

"Sleep Camels are ultra-workaholics who go for days without resting, then power-sleep or power-nap for most of the weekend in an attempt to store up energy for the week ahead."

Yup, that sounds like me alright. My good friend and classmate AP recognizes this so well in me. Some days, she would just ask me seemingly out-of-the-blue, "WD, what time did you sleep last night?"

GNIE: Oops, she did it again!

Remember LPN X and her student nurse? On Wednesday, my preceptor and me were once again paired with them. Once again they were assigned to the earlier lunch break. At around 12 noon (around 15 minutes after the lunch trays arrived), LPN X and her student nurse popped by my room as I was feeding my patient. LPN X went, "So WD, where is HH*? Anyway, we're going for lunch." [*RN HH is my preceptor.] 

I wasn't about to let them go so easily. These 2 didn't even bother to hand over their patients properly. "How are your patients?"

"Oh, they are all ok," said LPN X and they started to walk away out of the room.

"Are they all set-up for lunch?" I persisted.

"Nope" was the reply as they walked away, expecting me to do their job!

I went after them (still holding my patient's food and spoon), "PLEASE set them up for lunch before you go! I have to feed my patient."

They turned, saw my look and then continued to walk away quietly. I know they heard me, so I returned back to my patient. A few moments later, LPN X and her student passed by my patient's room again, saying "All our patients are set-up for lunch. We're going for lunch now."

This is how things work with some folks. If you don't stand your ground, they will walk all over you. If you stand your ground and point out their "faults", these folks will be careful not to step on your toes.

GNIE: On the verge of advocacy

A group of us (final semester GNIE students) attended an Open House by a health authority yesterday evening. We found ourselves facing yet another set of systemic discrimination against us in the registered nursing job market. For the first time, I am truly angry, just like the rest of my classmates. It says a lot that I am angry, for I come from a country (Singapore) with an open floodgate to foreign labour, and as a result I understand the rationale and benefits behind some of the systemic barriers to entry in B.C., Canada. [Click here, here and here for examples.]

After tonight, I feel strongly that I have to raise the issues to the open. My classmates look to me to speak for them. I have been working hard to network with the right person(s) [and organization] to leverage upon to highlight our plight. In short, I am on the verge of advocating for ourselves, the GNIE students and graduates as a vulnerable population. Frankly, I do not like this feeling of having to push for justice and equality, for it is in my nature to withdraw and keep to my own quiet corner. But today, I feel like “人在江湖，生不由己” ["a person in society cannot always do as he/she wishes"] in that I feel compiled to bring the issues to light so as to right a wrong.

More on that another day, I have lots to get done before dawn.

[29-Mar-2013 Update: Click here and here for the result of our advocacy efforts.]

GNIE: Emotionless Sinkie nurse vs Emotional Pinoy nurse

When I read in blogosphere commentaries about Singaporeans being the world's most emotionless people, I laughed. [Click here and here.]

According to CNN on 23-Nov-2012, 

"The 36% in Singapore who reported feeling anything is the lowest in the world. ... The Philippines, meanwhile, registered as the most emotional nation, with 60% of those interviewed responding "yes" to experiencing a lot of feelings daily."

I have a funny anecdote to share that illustrate the above. Now my GNIE classmate AP is a Filipino and I am a Singaporean. Sometime last week, we were both stressed because we were both being closely supervised by our respective preceptors and were unsure if our preceptors would pass us. In AP's case, her fears were raised when the Clinical Instructor (CI) told her that she would be given a "Learning Contract" after hearing feedback from her preceptor regarding her performance. In my case, I was concerned because I made many minor mistakes at work and my preceptor had remarked to me, "See she is so independent. She is near the end of her preceptorship" when she saw how comparatively independent my other classmate LY was at the unit.

Being good friends at school, AP called me to talk about her fears after she was told that she would be put on Learning Contract. I listened for awhile and then re-directed her to focus on her anecdotal notes. When she continued rambling on about her fear of possibly failing, I shared mine too. It caught her by surprise, since my classmates' perception of me is generally (to borrow AP's words), "You're good. You don't need to worry. You will pass." 

Going by our previous experience of writing anecdotal notes for "self-reflection and evaluation", we decided that we would write good anecdotal notes to "save" ourselves. I spent 6 hours writing a super-duper detailed account of every little mistake that I made and/or issue that my preceptor highlighted to me. Just as I clicked the "Save" button, the secure online connection (https) logged me out because of time-out. As a result, I spent another 2 hours re-doing my anecdotal notes -- still detailed but not as long-winded as before. I stuck to the facts of what happened, so as to give my CI an "objective" idea of how closely supervised I was, but I avoided citing my personal feelings or opinions of the events.

Since it is known that I had a comparatively stronger command of English, AP approached me to edit her anecdotal notes. IMHO [which I did feedback to AP], AP's original anecdotal notes was one long rambling mess, everything in a single continuous paragraph, without formatting (not even capitalizing letters as per normal sentence structures) nor structure. What struck me was her clear insistence to state how she felt. [Below is an extract of AP's anecdotal notes after editing by me.]

"I felt somewhat stressed and pressured being under constant supervision, especially while taking the nurse’s full workload. In addition, the nurse interrupted me frequently while I was attending to my other patients, regarding the need to check for the latest lab-work reports and doctors’ orders. Although I noted that I needed to check the lab-works and doctors’ orders regularly, I am still not comfortable handling the frequent interruptions, which scrambled my plan/prioritization and broke my flow of care."

Coincidentally, we were both under the same CI (even though our preceptorship were at different hospitals) and we both submitted our anecdotal notes around the same time. Reading our anecdotal notes side-by-side, there was a clear difference in how the 2 nationalities express their emotional side -- the stoic me vs the expressive AP -- much like the stoic stiff-upper-lip Brits vs the expressive Italians.

Here is an extract of the CI's reply to my anecdotal notes:

Hi [WD],
Thank you for your detailed anecdotal. I am wondering how you are feeling about this experience. Are you learning and starting to feel more comfortable or are you feeling some pressure/stress? ...

Yah, even my CI found me too stoic! Haha!

[Addendum: See also Gallup's poll 19-Dec-2012 report, "Latin Americans Most Positive in the World; Singaporeans are the least positive worldwide".]

GNIE: Perils of an over-effective leader

In the previous nursing theory module for this semester, we were assigned into multi-cultural teams by the instructor. My team had a fun time doing the project, getting full marks for it. Somehow rumours* spread that I did "all the work" and my team members had a fun and easy time. Well, it was true that I had a hand in the research, powerpoint creation and script editing, but IMHO my team members also pulled their weight in that project. E.g. JK who wrote an excellent script and spliced together the videos, MM who visited the targeted centre to interview its staff and obtain brochures, and AP who made some awesome props.

I learned about the rumours from my GNIE classmate SS (who was assigned to another team) who asked me about it when I was carpooling with her to school. I told her that everyone contributed to the project, it was "not true that I did all the work". SS then asked if she could join my team if we were allowed to choose our team-mates for the next project. To which I replied, "Sure!"

When we arrived at class that day, the instructor for the final nursing theory module told us to form our own teams for the next group presentation/assignment. Immediately SS who was sitting next to me declared that she would join me. Everyone at our table immediately declared the same, including AmP, disregarding if I agree to team-up with them or otherwise. I kept quiet as I was aware that there were some in the table (especially AmP) who only "declared" to join me because they plan to be free-loaders (given their free-loading behaviour during classroom discussions and workshops) and yet want to be assured of a good grade (given the rumours of my previous team's dynamics).

As I predicted, PY (from my previous team) who is a pretty vocal and assertive person came over to our table and "suggested" to AP and myself that we should stick with the previous project team since we worked well together previously. I quickly agreed conditionally; i.e. I replied, "So long as everyone in the previous team is ok, then let's stick to the same team." After all, despite some minor issues in the previous project, the team members were generally cordial and mature about their differences. Fortunately my previous team members all agreed quickly, and thus I had a good excuse to turn down everyone else. I was apologetic to SS for backing out of my word, and thankfully she was mature and understanding about it. I linked SS to IJ, whom I was confident would lead his team to an excellent grade too.

As it turned out, it is really a blessing in disguise for SS because under IJ's leadership, their team scored 19.5 / 20 for the project. My team scored 17.5 / 20. I did not lead as well this time around, mainly because I skived during my bout of flu, and partly because I noticed that several of my team members did not seem interested in pulling their weight. E.g. When we missed the deadline to submit the project outline because I was sick prior-to and on the due date, nobody noticed nor mentioned anything. 

Yet, when the result was out, the ones in my team who complained the loudest about how we had 2 points less than the other teams were the ones who clearly did not pulled his/her weight.

E.g. HMR whose "research" returned only 1 url which he openly declared that he had not even read, called me to complain that he had expected the team to score the full 20 marks. I told him to consider that our presentation was a short 20 minutes one (the shortest and most focused presentation), we should not compare ourselves to others given the (minimal) amount of effort that our team had put in. 

E.g. PY who did not volunteer for any task and had to be assigned some superficial tasks to make it look like she was not free-loading, texted that she had expected 19 / 20. [On the presentation day itself, PY was lost in thoughts and forgot to advance the presentation slides (created by me) in the beginning.] I had to ask PY rhetorically, "Would you wanna work as hard as IJ's team just for that 2 more marks?" [PY was aware that IJ's team had lots of long-drawn meetings and rehearsals, whereas our team completed the entire project with only 1 short discussion, 3 main 1.5-to-3-hour meetings and 1 final 30 minutes rehearsal.] 

E.g. JK who skipped our 1st meeting without prior notice and openly declared that she did not even read the meeting minutes, whose original script was mostly cut-and-paste internet text (for which the other team members were glad when they received my heavily edited version which was further edited by each actor/actress as we reviewed the script) texted me, "I can't believe we only have 17.5, most of them got 19.5". To which I replied JK honestly,  "Personally, I would prefer to focus on job search than the 2 points difference. I think we can ask HS (the instructor) for a breakdown of our group's score so that we can figure out what we missed. But as I said, I would rather focus on getting a job and making money than 2 points in an assignment."  

Even AP was somewhat unhappy (influenced by IJ who was dissatisfied that his team did not get the full 100% score), but she was ok after I reminded her not to compare with others. 

Ironically, MM the only one who did her assigned research and practised her script (in the role-play presentation) was the one who replied, "Not too bad. Let's be happy." in response to my update to the team about our score. I guess having met Mr Death in the face and survived can change one's perspective of what is important in life.

Actually, I am glad that my team did not receive the full marks this time around. For sure, it may mean that we end up with a lower grade (than expected) for the module, but I believe each of us will still pass the module. What I think the lower mark may do is to force each "unsatisfied" team member to rethink about his/her role in contributing to the "lower than expected" score. E.g. I know that I had not been as conscientious as a team leader as I was in the previous project. IMHO, sometimes an over-effective leader has to step back, so that each team member can take initiative and own his/her individual share of responsibility in the desired outcome.

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[Addendum on 28-Nov-2012]

My team (excluding AP who was sick today) spoke with the instructor HS in school yesterday regarding the breakdown of our scores. HS stated that a small amount of marks was deducted here and there because our presentation lacked detailed elaboration. I objected that although we did not put up a long presentation borrowing lots of Youtube videos, our short presentation was comprehensive. HS then told us that we should not compare with other teams and the team which used Youtube may not have scored well either. [IMHO, 80% of that team's presentation was from Youtube, which to me would pretty much equate to plagiarism.] HS then redirected us to tell her how much we should get and why. To which MM and HMR quipped 20, i.e. the full score, and JK agreed. [Note: I could not see PY's response as she was off the range of my peripheral vision.]

HMR cited that we put in "even more effort than in the previous group assignment". MM turned to me and asked, "Say something!" I kept quiet to collect my thoughts for a second before I raised my points. I asked HS if she had seen our written report, to which she replied in affirmative. I told HS that when  we did our discussions, we aimed to do a short and concise presentation but we covered everything in that we followed the marking rubics strictly. HS agreed to reconsider our score. At the end of the day, HS informed me verbally that she will revise our score to the full 20 marks. There is no email from her to that effect, so I will take her word for it for now. A small victory.

That said, in the same evening, the group of GNIE students who attended an Open House by a health authority found ourselves facing yet another hurdle/discrimination against us in the job market. More on that another day, I have lots to get done before dawn.

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[Addendum on 05-Dec-2012]

Yesterday, on the last day of school, instructor HS informed each of my team members that she decided to give us 19 points for the project.