Sunday, December 01, 2013

Bang, bang!

Yesterday (Saturday), a group of friends stayed behind to chat after helping a couple to move to their "new" home.
It is generally considered a happy milestone for Asian immigrants to "own" (i.e. pay mortgage) for the roof over our heads. For around half-a-million, it was a nice 2-storied duplex with (IMHO) enough living space for 2 families.
Somewhere along the way, we talked about the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". ZS the neurologist amongst us had always been interested in memory -- how it functioned and how it was stored -- which lead him to specialize in neurology, albeit his current research is not related to the memory functions of the brain.

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Anyway, combined with Friday's indoor shooting session, it made me think about the current assumptions on childhood amnesia and how it may possibly lead to under-treatment of childhood PTSD.

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For decades, I have had a recurring dream whereby I was with my older sister (as toddlers) and an adult (possibly an aunt). For some reason, we were squatting in a small alcove created by the concrete sides of the letterbox-mount and metre-tall concrete fully-covered banister and balusters*. In the dream, there was a sense that we were hiding from "bad people" [坏人] who would make use of us toddlers in their evil plots if we were found. After waiting for a while, my aunt decided to check if her friend who lives a unit away was home, as my grandparents' unit was too far down the block. My aunt cautioned us to remain in our hideout and await for her return. My sister said something to me about keeping quiet, and I responded that I understood by making a gun (thumbs up, index finger pointing straight, with other fingers bent) with my hand and mouthed-silently, "Bang, bang!"

[2013 photo of Blk 178 and 177 Toa Payoh Central
*Those who have passed through the "tunnels" (painted with orange strips in the photo above) of Toa Payoh Central apartment blocks would probably understand what I'm talking about.
Sometimes I would wake up at this point in the dream with my heart thumping quickly. Sometimes I would continue to dream on and the "next episode" in the dream would appear. We were now in a "friend's home", i.e. a 2nd or 3rd floor unit of that apartment block. The adults were awaiting anxiously for news that "all's clear". In order to hide their fear and to calm the children down, the adults plied us with yummy sweet warm drinks and a choice delicious cookies. [IIRC, the drinks were Milo, Ovaltine or Horlicks and the cookies were the delicious Kjeldsens Danish butter cookies.] The adults did not even dared to open the windows for fear of attracting the attention of the "bad people" [坏人] and/or stray bullets flying through the window. We kids were also told to stay away from the windows and the door. Eventually, "all's clear" was declared and everyone seemed relieved -- everyone except me. While my heart was no longer thumping, the fear just did not go away.

"It's just a dream", I would coax myself upon waking up, "Everyone gets nightmares of being chased by bad people sometimes."

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One interesting thing that I noticed (as a child) one Chinese New Year was that I had suddenly grown frightened by the loud thumping of the drums during the Lion Dance performances. I have vague memories of previously enjoying those festive performances, so I could not understand that new found fear. In fact, even other loud and sudden "bangs" like the bursting of balloons would make me jump.  I concluded that, too bad, I just grew up to be a Scaredy Cat and tried my best to hide my fears, especially in social settings to avoid being teased.

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One day in 2006 after I got my driver's licence, I was speaking with my older sister on a long-distance call. I remarked how nice it was that, "Now that I have a driver's licence, I no longer have the dream* whereby I was chased by bad people and I found a car (escape vehicle) but I could not use it because I did not know how to drive."
[*Note: That is another recurring dream that I had.]
My elder sister went, "Oh, we were ever running away from robbers before."

I was totally surprised, "Is that so?"

My sister replied in affirmative. We were toddlers strolling around with our aunt at Toa Payoh "New Town" -- at that time it was a newly built satellite-town, when suddenly there was a robbery at a goldsmith shop nearby. Our aunt took us through a "staircase tunnel", crossed the carpark to hide in a "staircase tunnel" of the opposite apartment block. She followed with, "You even made a gun with your fingers and mouthed 'Bang, bang!' Don't you remember?"

I replied hesitantly, "No... Yes... I thought it was just a dream."

But then, my sister proceeded to tell me pretty much the contents of my recurring dream (see above). 

So I went to the public library and researched the newspaper archives. There were 2 goldsmith robbery in the early days of Toa Payoh New Town. [See appendix below.] Based on the dates given, I was only around 2 years-old when the events happened, yet the memories were seared into my brain and returned to me via my subconscious mind (i.e. in my dream state) through the decades. Up until our fateful conversation in year 2006, no one in my family mentioned about that scary event in my young life. Thanks to my older sister for solving this mystery, I no longer have that recurring dream anymore since.

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[APPENDIX A] 
$10,000 GEMS SNATCH

Five armed men took only 3 minutes to grab $10K worth of jewellery from a goldsmith's shop in Toa Payoh Central this afternoon.

The robbers, 4 armed with parangs and one with an axe, walked into Ban Loong Goldsmiths in Blk 185 shortly after 3:30pm.

They herded 3 sisters of the owner and a male employee to the side of the shop and warned them not to make any noise.

While 4 of the men stood guard over them, the 5th with the axe smashed the showcases.

They were scooping jewellery into a paperbag, when the owner Mr Chia Kia Gin, 28, who heard the commotion from the rear, pressed the alarm bell.

The robbers panicked, ran out and escapted in a green car pared at the rear of the shop with a 6th man at the wheels.

Later tonight, police said they were uncertain whether the car was a Morris or Austin 1100. Its number plate was SK 8122. They appealed to those seeing a car with the number plate to contact them.

Mr Chia said he was at the rear when he heard the noise of smashing glass.

"I peeped out and saw the robbers holding up my sisters and employee."

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[APPENDIX B] 
$200,000 double by gangs
- Gerry de Silva, N.G. Kutty

Goldsmith shop and a factory robbed

Armed robbers got away with nearly $200,000 in cash and jewellery in 2 hold-ups just before lunchtime yesterday.

Some 300 girl workers of Atlas Electronics Co. Ltd., a flatted factory in Lower Delta Road, stood petrified as 2 armed men robbed the firm of $70K just after 11:15am.

The money was part of a $107K payroll which had been delivered under police escort only a few minutes earlier.

An arrest

An hour later, 4 armed men strode into Fu-Heng Goldsmiths in Toa Payoh Central and escaped with jewellery worth more than $120K.

The robbers spent only 10 minutes in the shop. But they thoroughly ransacked it of all expensive jewellery.

Late last night, a police party, led by acting Deputy Supt. Sidek Ismail, arrested a gang leader in connection with the robbery. 

Escape

Robbery no. 2: 4 robbers, 2 armed with revolvers and 2 with parangs, walked into the goldsmith's shop, 30 minutes after it opened for businesss at noon.

They held up one of the 4 partners, Mr Quek Ah Heng, 42, and 3 employees and ordered them into the rear office.

While 2 of them -- one with a revolver and the other with a parang -- stood guard over them, the others opened the show cases and scooped up all the jewellery.

An off-duty policeman, Constable Donald Soh, 25, of Kandang Kerbau Division saw the 4 men getting hurriedly into a car.

Mr Soh went after them, "thinking it was a gang clash." But they escaped in a red Colt Galant.

He got into his Morris Minor and followed, but lost them in Lorong 4.

Road-blocks were set up all over Singapore but there was no trace of the getaway car.

Police were struck by the cool way the robbery was carried out. Unlike the usual smash-and-grab raids, none of the glass cases were damaged by the robbers.

Police spokesman Mr Lawerence Loh last night appealed to people who saw the Colt Gallant to report immediately to the nearest police station.

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[APPENDIX C] 
$120,000 goldsmith hold-up suspect arrested

POLICE yesterday arrested a man believed to be the mastermind of the $120,000 Fu Heng Goldsmith robbery In Toa Payoh on Oct 4. The 26-year-old leader of the five-man gang was arrested at his home In Lim Teck 800 Road, off Faya Lebar Road, ... [Note: News article truncated.]

Shooting for fun

Went with some friends to Coquitlam for indoor shooting last Friday. It was really fun. 

[29-Nov-2013 - Some of the guns we played with]

In our group of 5, there were only 2 of us who have ever used firearms. AA was trained by the French navy. I was trained by the Singapore Police as a teenager. [See NPCC Training from wikipedia.] It is a fun teaser when you tell others, "Oh, the last time I used firearms was a long time ago... as a teenager" and leave it hanging. Akin to the fun PN and I had when we told others that we met at a police station.

Having tried the above firearms, including a .38 revolver (not in photo above), my preference is the "heavy" automatic gun for its easy aim, thanks to the lower recoil. If you look at the Hello Kitty target that JD shared with me, it is easy to understand why.

[29-Nov-2013 Hello Kitty target]

JD was using the "light" automatic and her bullets left traces of gunpowder on the target. You can see that the recoil from the "light" automatic made her bullets go upwards towards the top of the target. I was using the "heavy" automatic, and most of my bullets hit Hello Kitty's chest (imaginary heart) thanks to the lower recoil factor.

All in, it was a fun experience and not too expensive either given that it was "Ladies Night", i.e. cover charges are waived for ladies that night. See total bill for the 1+hour of actual shooting fun for the 5 of us below -- 3 ladies, 2 gentlemen.

[29-Nov-2013 Bill for indoor shooting fun]

For me, there's an additional benefit that I know now that I have overcome my fear of loud "bangs", albeit with ear-muffs on.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

BC stands for Beautiful Community

In my previous blog entry "The Suay Kuan" ["the unlucky ones"], Xianlong (Frugal Introvert), Gintai and DotSeng all commented about the "big fish will always eat small fish" culture that prevails in Singapore and that anyone who does not toe the line risks being "blacklisted".

As I've replied, my view is that we are society -- each of us, as individuals, contributes a sliver of behaviour that aggregates into "social norms". Each person has to make his/her own choice and live with his/her conscience. There is no right or wrong answer.

Just to share an upcoming donation drive in B.C., Canada, to illustrate the kind of community that I chose to be a part of.

[17-Nov-2013 Poster for Blanket BC drive]

"The BC in Blanket BC actually stands for beautiful community", said Gregory Ould, the founder of Blanket BC.


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To quote Brian Hare, an assistant professor of anthropology at Duke University, as interviewed by Discovery.com on 07-Feb-2011:
http://news.discovery.com/human/psychology/shrinking-brains-intelligence-110207.htm

"The chimpanzees are violent because they want power, they try to have control and power over others while bonobos are using violence to prevent one for from dominating them," Hare continued.

"Humans are both chimps and bonobos in their nature and the question is how can we release more bonobo and less chimp.

"I hope bonobos win… it will be better for everyone," he added.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

The Suay Kuan [The Unlucky Ones]

Just to share a real-life story from Anonymous who commented on Thursday, November 07, 2013 8:14:00 AM on my blog post "It's not so simple". If you want to believe how Singapore's healthcare system is "world class", then perhaps people like Anonymous and I are the just "the suay kuan" [i.e. "the unlucky ones"]. Otherwise, you'd question whether the occasional reports that leak about the aggression and violence faced by healthcare workers (nurses in particular) in Singapore are really the tip of the iceberg of an endemic issue.

Thank you, Anonymous, for sharing your personal story.

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[The following is copied from a comment left by Anonymous on Thursday, November 07, 2013 8:14:00 AM on my blog post "It's not so simple". Changes in font size, bold, italics and underline are added by me for emphasis.]

As a student nurse in Singapore, I bore witness to the most horrifying situation that happened in the hospital. There was a patient which was coding, and there were only 2 student nurses (one of which is myself). The emergency button was pressed. Guess what...a registered nurse (foreign trained) appeared but she took a look and walked off saying she needed to fetch her patient from OT. Needless to say , patient died because there were only 2 of us to do cpr and suction the bloody emesis while yelling for help after she left. Worse timing was it happened during break and the other nurse was in the private room doing a tracheostomy dressing. After she heard us, that nurse ran out of the private room and immediately took action. I reported that foreign nurse.

HO HO HO. I got blacklisted for pushing the matter. The senior nursing officer was telling me to keep quiet if I wanted my career. I stuck to my principles. Worse of all , I was bonded. So you can imagine what happened to me.....

When they made my life a total misery and told me that I was the most useless nurse etc , that I will never make it anywhere else ...etc ....making my rosters 12 days in a row and one day off at each end [checked, I have experienced that]. Even better, making me work when I was having a fever [checked, I have experienced that too], and landing me in ED with a 40 degree fever and a fit. THEN telling me that if I take more than 3 days leave, I can forget about my performance review. That went on for more than 3 months. 

It broke me down. For doing the right thing, I got marked. All the time, I kept it from my family until my father found me at the edge of our study window deciding whether I should jump or not. He decided to buy out the bond. 

Even better when I sent the resignation letter in, matron called me down and asked me if I can 'even afford' to pay off and I would be 'stuck' with the debt as well as saying 'you know....your family is not that rich and you might need to wash the dishes ' when she did not even know my family background. I looked at her and said "cash ,cheque or credit card? Which payment option to take". She retorted at me "how dare you talk to me like that girl [again I have a similar experience]... your family is poor and you want to drive them into debt" [again similar to my experience].

The day after my father came, suddenly I was called down.....the matron met my father. HAHAHAHA She asked me if I told him anything about the hospital and the complaints I was making. I looked at her and informed her that whatever I said to my father is covered under lawyer client privilege and I know my rights. She was frightened. My father's old classmate was the CEO of that particular hospital and he told me while the matron was coming out, the CEO was just walking out to lunch and greeted him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Suddenly the matron decided that I was the poor nurse getting bullied by senior nurses and she will discipline them ...and that every ward would be happy to take me in if I decide to withdraw the cheque and my resignation. My final words to her : Go to Hell. 

I was naive and never used my dad as a connection. Had I revealed who my father was sooner, perhaps they would have licked my ass and gone after the incompetent nurse.

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To my readers: The stuff that I wrote on my blog about nursing in Singapore has already been "censored" by me to avoid stuff that may cause lawsuits to my previous employer, etc. So I am not surprised at all by the stuff that Anonymous shared. Nursing in Singapore has a long way to go before it is truly a respectable profession.

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Boyfriend-brand dinner

Further to my boyfriend-brand lunchbox blog entry, my friend Down Under wanted to see what boyfriend-brand dinner looks like. See photos below from our dinner last Sunday.

[03-Nov-2013 Vegetarian version for me]

[03-Nov-2013 Fish for boyfriend]

Not only does DD cook and plate the food, he also cooks a vegetarian version for me if it is a meat-based dish. Btw, that's home-made pesto sauce on the fish and tau-hoo [豆腐]。 DD loves cooking and sharing the product of his culinary skills. My role is to eat, appreciate and be happy!

[03-Nov-2013 The works behind home-made pesto]