Monday, July 16, 2012

My teen visit to an evangelical church

I read with interest what Lucky Tan and LIFT wrote about Christian church recruiting new blood via school children. I am not surprised because I was aware of it happening, even back in the 1980's when I was attending a branded secondary school in town. I think that if they read about my first experience as a teen visiting an evangelical church, they may be appalled by the tactics used by these "fishermen of souls". Note: It has been more than 20 years now, so my memory is not 100% accurate, so please forgive the parts where I honestly don't remember.

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I was in Secondary 2 or 3 (14 or 15 years old) at that time and a member of a squad of 20+ NPCC girls from my cohort. 2 of my squad mates had joined a Christian church located at a short bus ride from our school -- a Pentecostal church in particular, which was not deemed part of mainstream Christianity at that time in Singapore.
Note #1: At that time, mainstream Christians refers to Anglicans, Methodists, and similar groups, with Catholics being seen as a separate class on its own.
Note #2: I don't know if that Pentecostal church that I attended is in anyway related to any of the existing Pentecostal churches in Singapore. Anyway, whatever I experienced was in the past, more than 2 decades ago, so please don't anyhow slime the current churches or their followers, okay?
Before long, a 3rd squad mate was their new and fervent convert. Soon my 3rd squad mate and another of them invited me to visit their church. I was curious as to why my 3rd squad mate was such a fervent convert and am generally open to exploring new stuff, so I agreed to visit their church. Besides, IMHO, their enthusiasm in "saving more souls" was affecting the squad unity and causing unease to others in the squad.
Now what my friends didn't know was that while I was (and am still) not a Christian, I know the bible stories pretty well. As a child, I had a Christian aunt who gave my family 2 children's bible story books, covering the Old Testament (i.e. the Jewish Torah) and the New Testament (i.e. the conception, life, crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ). For a long time, those were 2 of the only 3 story books my family had, so I read and re-read the books many times over. Thus, I was (and am) not some "ignorant/stupid idol worshippers" as some Christians like to label the Taoists and Buddhists during their worship sessions.
Upon arrival at the church, everyone seemed so happy to meet me and welcomed fresh faces. They started the worship with singing songs (accompanied by guitar, keyboard or piano, I cannot recall) and standing up doing simple dance-like movements (like in line-dancing). By then, a few of the church members started rattling off in tongue. Then the "good news" sermon started, i.e. repent and convert because the only way to salvation was through Christ. Then came the (IMHO, church branding) sermon which preached that their church was unique in its worship approach that appealed to the youths, and that other churches were old and staid and not carrying out Jesus' mission of spreading the faith by not changing with the times. Then came the "do not be swayed by other churches calling us a cult" pep talk, because -- according to the speaker(s) -- the others were jealous of the church's energy. In fact, they claimed that a proof of the church's energy and the Holy Spirit's presence was that their members were able to speak in tongue (glossolalia). Then they invited members to share their testimonies. Whenever a teenager shared about his/her challenge at home with parents who opposed the teen's church involvement, the members would rally support and shared that it's part of God's challenge, advised him/her to remain respectful of his/her parents but do not heed the Devil's call to leave Christianity, and cited other members' long journey in successfully converting their entire families. Then the teen would reaffirm his/her conviction to the faith.

Then we broke up into small groups. My 2 friends and a "seasoned" church member formed a group with me. If I remember correctly, they sat on my left, right and opposite facing me.* Firstly, they asked if I was shocked in any way by the glossolalia and reassured me that I would get used to it. While I did not expect it, the glossolalia did not scare me. [Note: By that age, I had some paranormal experiences (which I did not share with others about), so nope, I wasn't so easily scared.] They were surprised by my negative answer and looked somewhat pleased. Then they asked if I understood the good news. Yes, I said, I know about the Jesus Christ story. Then they insisted that it wasn't just a story, we even learned about this man/god in our history textbook. Yes, I agreed that this person existed according to our history text. Then they asked if I would convert to Christianity. When I said no, they were seemed surprised. They asked me why I would want to go back to idol worship. [In my mind, I was thinking why are they so narrow-minded to insist that "not Christian = idol worship"?] Anyway, they kept pressuring me with questions, especially the "A or B" type of closed-ended questions.* They did not expect to meet up with a tenacious teenager. Finally, after spending I think around 20min, when it looked like I was getting agitated by their questioning, they asked me why I was there. I told them frankly that I was there not because I wanted to learn about Christ; I was there because I felt that their 3 church members who were my squad mates were destroying the unity of the squad by their faith outreach activities in school. Thereafter, the "seasoned" church member left my 2 friends to talk to me. I left that church shortly after, never to return again. [Note: I did visit other churches later in life for various reasons (friends' invitation, friends' wedding, as a tourist, etc), but I am still not a Christian.]

When I left, I felt bad that I was behaving like a horrible guest. Nevertheless, I wasn't going to be peer-pressured into accepting something that I knew clearly in my heart that I did not agree with. It did not matter to me, that as they claimed, to accept the faith first and then with faith, things would happen and testimonies would arise in my life. Nope, not an iota. If they had known me better, they would have known that "testimonies" already arose in my life, regardless of my faith. I did not need to subscribe to any faith in particular for miracles and/or paranormal stuff -- big or small -- to happen in my life. Neither did I believe in joining a group whose definition of itself was by thumping down others (including other Christian churches). Finally, I knew very well from a bible story that Jesus Christ's death tore a temple's veil precisely because he preached direct worship to God, he did not say anything about his followers having to choose one church over another.

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You will note that I have marked 2 asterisks above. These are the parts that irked me then, as a teenager stuck in that church discussion, which I could not figure out the reasons for my discomfort until after my brief dabbling in MLM (multi-level marketing) 2 decades later. In MLM, I learned some high-pressure sales techniques that were applied to subtly pressurize a client to go along with our "suggestions".
  • One is the use of group conformity by surrounding the client with 2 or more confederates (i.e. "Yes" men). That was what happened when we broke into smaller groups with my friends and the "seasoned" church member surrounding me.
  • The other is the refusal to accept an answer as it is. To repeatedly wear down the client's resistance by asking "A or B" type of closed-ended questions which paints a false dichotomy from which the client is  (mis-)led to choose.
Looking back, I wonder if my friends converted because they felt touched by faith or they fell victim to such psychological manipulation. Oh, by the way, the teens were expected to donate to the church. I am, however, not sure if the tithe was 10% or as they wish.

9 comments:

  1. It's kinda sad to hear that such things already happening so many years back and from the looks of it, it may have gotten worse. I do have my run-in with evangelicalism back in Singapore too and at times, I really question their zeal in converting others. If they spent so much effort converting others, I think that their efforts would be better spent on helping the less fortunate. Why just praise their chosen religion? Back it up with actions and if they are truly that good, real believers will follow.

    Another thing that I have been suspecting for some time is that the government is actually wary of the christian votes as the way they sometimes deferred to their values when they considered some issues is disturbing at times. And I got a feel that a lot of our leaders are christians and they network through the churches. I may be wrong but this is my feeling.

    J

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  2. Hi J,

    Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment.

    I share your views and question the real intent of their zeal too. IMHO, it all boils down to tithe money. Nowadays, it is not just the Christians who do that, many large-scale organized religions/cults do the same. That's why I am wary of and refuse to join any organized religious groups.

    Btw, IMHO, your second last statement is spot-on. I had a friend who was involved in the AWARE incident. In her opinion, there was nothing wrong in her group's action of taking over another group so as to "glorify the Lord" "by lobbying for Christian laws to be applied on a wider scale", i.e. to the secular crowd. If a group of organized Christians are willing to take over an NGO for their hidden objectives, it is no surprise that other Christians may also feel compelled to influence public policy with their private morals/value-system.
    http://winkingdoll.blogspot.ca/2009/09/after-aware.html

    Cheers, WD.

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  3. Yes, that's what scares me too and I feel that Singapore government has bent backwards for them more than other religions. I think to make it worse, they like to hide behind general/vague statements like mainstream values, majority etc etc to justify their actions. Although our government has been doing that all these while, making general statement without giving hard facts or giving vague facts to back them up.

    J

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    Replies
    1. Hi J,

      Thanks for dropping by and leaving your comment again.

      IMHO, your last statement nailed it on the head. The PAP-dominated government has steadfastly refused to weigh the pro-and-cons of a "Freedom of Information Act", demanding instead obeisance and trust from the Singaporean "mere mortals".

      But worse are the PAP supporters who demand others to submit their obeisance and trust to the PAP too, simply because they themselves are willing to sell-out. I have commented briefly on that in my comment, dated 29 July 2012 11:17, on asingaporeanson's blog post below.
      http://asingaporeanson.blogspot.ca/2012/07/what-minister-yacoob-really-want.html

      I have no objection to religious groups (or any other groups) lobbying for changes in the legal system and/or government -- provided that they are able to argue their cases logically. Please don't quote some book that is sacred only to your own members (e.g. as the bible is to a Christian) and declare that something is self-evident to be true because the book says so. Sorry, there are people in the general public who do not care what the book says.
      http://winkingdoll.blogspot.ca/2011/09/facebook-exchange-right-wing-christians.html

      That's my 2 cents above for now.

      :-)

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  4. Hi WD,

    Yup, I read your post and comment but sadly, this is the situation facing us.

    As for the "Freedom of Information Act", IMO, there is no way the PAP will allow that because for the simple reason that they are too many skeletons hiding in the closet for them. They cannot afford to let them out.

    Same goes to their demand for obedience which is way out-dated. It may have work on our parents and grandparents generations but it's not going to work on us any much long. Not when there is the factor of the Internet.

    Being sold out ar. To be blunt, sadly, we had already been sold out by our grandparents & parents generations because they gave so much of our rights away in exchange for their illusion of security and wealth. Now it's a big uphill fight to get them back for us.

    As for religious groups lobbying for changes, I differ from you. I feel that they shouldn't even be lobbying for anything at all because ultimately, they are religious, their actions will only be guided by their religious beliefs.

    Cheers,
    J

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    Replies
    1. Hi J,

      Thanks for returning and sharing your thoughts again. The missing "Freedom of Information Act" causes me to fear for the future of Singapore. If and when any skeletons dance out of the closet, the fall of Singapore will be nigh.

      As for our parents and grandparents selling out the future of our generation, IMHO this can only stand as a generalization. At least on my father's side of the family, I understood that my late-paternal grandparents considered all politics and politicians "dirty", so they were unlikely to support the dominating party. My parents believe in supporting whoever is the underdog, so as to exert a pressure on the dominant party to deliver the promises made.

      I see/know enough people of my generation (even well-educated folks) who sell-out, so I don't think it is fair to push the blame on our parents/grandparents.

      Still thanks for sharing your views and thoughts. Diversity is what makes a true democracy resilient. That's one thing that the dominant political party in Singapore does not understand or does not want to understand. Either way, it is to the detriment of Singapore.

      Cheers, WD.

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    2. Hi WD,

      Yes, I have the same fear as you regarding the skeletons in the closet. On one hand, I want the skeletons to come out so as to bring down the lies the PAP had been telling us yet like you, I feel that given that our nationalhood foundation is so unstable, no thanks to the PAP, any skeletons may or will bring the downfall of Singapore.

      Yes, I agree with you that I'm generalising but the elections results don't lie. Majority of our grandparents/parents generations still sell us out. And like you say, even your and my generations (I know enough friends too) are doing that too because their life aren't that badly affected by the policies, they are fine to let the PAP continue doing what they want.

      Sadly, what they don't understand is that the policies may not affect them now, the policies may affect them in the future or their children.

      It is nice talking about such topic, esp with Singaporeans who had gone overseas and experienced other system.

      Cheers,
      J

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  5. Hi,

    I attended such worship sessions when I was a teenager. I am now in my late 30s, not sure if you and I belong to the same generation.

    What you described is very similar to my own encounter. I actually attended such sessions faithfully for several years before I felt that I simply do not agree with their approach.

    You can say I am dense or draft, it took me years to figure out that something is not right. What really made me uncomfortable is the amount of pressure they exert on us to bring in "friends", "potential converts". It seems to me that if I do not actively bring potential converts, I am deemed to be a lousy Christian.

    In working world terms, I would say I was set KPI to bring in x number of potential converts. Christmas is no longer enjoyable because I have to inform them in advance how many friends I will be bringing. I have to give them updates every week as we count down to Christmas.

    I am glad it is all over.

    I guess there are people who enjoys such structure, I know of friends who continued to attend such for years. But it does not suit me.

    Cheers
    JA

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    Replies
    1. Hi JA,

      Thanks for visiting and sharing your experience.

      I would say "to each, his/her own truth". If one is happy with one's faith and not harming others, go ahead. If one is unhappy, then do consider the alternatives, even agnosticism or atheism.

      "KPI" - hahaha, so funny! Religion = business for some people, LOL!

      Cheers, WD.

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