Sunday, August 26, 2012

Goodbye, Mr SMS!

I had a series of emails back and forth with SMS recently. I think it is safe for me to say that I am finally ready to say, "Goodbye, Mr SMS!" without anger or regret.

Just to share with my readers who were into following my "A Love Story" series. Here is the concluding episode of the side-story (Mr SMS) within "A Love Story".

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From: [SMS]
To: [WD]
Sent: Monday, July 16, 2012 2:32 AM
Subject: I hope you are well

Hi [WD],

I hope this mail will find you well.
A lot of thing are happening around but a short message to you after this long silence was important to me.
Take care and I hope to hear from you soon.
Hug,
[SMS]

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From: [WD]

To: [SMS]
Sent: Monday, July 23, 2012 4:02 PM
Subject: Re: I hope you are well

Hi [SMS], We are not young people with lots of time to waste in life anymore. If you can come straight to the point, I will try to give you a straight answer as much as possible. Why are you contacting me? What is it that you want?

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From: [SMS]
To: [WD] 
Sent: [Some day in August, 2012]
Subject: Happy Birthday to you :-)

Hi [WD],

Happy Birthday to you with all my best wiches.

Take care and I hope we'll see each other soon.
[SMS]

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From: [WD]
To: [SMS] 
Sent: [Some day in August, 2012]
Subject: Re: Happy Birthday to you :-)

Dear [SMS],

Thank you for remembering my birthday. It is my sincere wish not to meet you ever again. In fact, it is best that you do not contact me at all. I hope you will grant me this birthday wish. Some things in the past are best left as vague memories. I am sorry. I would rather enjoy solitude than be miserable in love.

I wish you all the best for your future happiness. I know you will understand that I am trying very hard to move on and to rebuild for myself a simple and happy life here in Canada.

Best Regards,
[WD]

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Thereafter I received a spam email from his account. My guess is that his email had probably been hacked given that there were a few other addressees to that spam mail. SMS never sent me an email with other recipients -- it was as if our whole relationship is under-wraps [见不得光], which it is not and should not be.

So I forwarded the spam mail to his account with the email header encoding enclosed, so that he can make a report to his email administrator.

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From: [WD]
To: [SMS] 
Sent: Tuesday, August 21, 2012 2:32 PM
Subject: Re: Email hacked?

Hi [SMS], Just FYI. I think your email has been hacked and used for spamming.
[Snipped: Full header and original spam email attached.]

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From: [SMS]
To: [WD] 
Sent: Tuesday, August 21, 2012 3:08 PM
Subject: RE: Email hacked?

Hi [WD],
Thank you for the information. Yes, I have seen the problem and already changed the password. I'm not sure how it could happen but at least now it should not happen again. :-).

I have tried to forget you but I have not been able to. You meen more to me than just a mail or a kiss or a hug. I like your humor and understand your anger which hurts - and it should - sorry that I hurted you - I would love to repair the errors I've made in the past.

Take care [WD] and with a tender hug,
[SMS]

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When I received the above reply from SMS, my heart weeped -- the same sort of sorrow that SMS once displaced with love and care from my heart. After 10+ years of moving beyond a platonic relationship, SMS still cannot bring himself to say that he loves me. After 10+ years of "on-and-off" relationship, he still defines our relationship by "othering" instead of declaring what he wants to happen between us and what he hopes for in our relationship -- declarations that men who eventually marry their partners make. I am sorry. IMHO, such emotional evasion methods (e.g. "othering" a relationship) are often used by liars/cheaters in relationships because when they want to exit the relationship, they would cite that "I never promised you ..." or "I never said that we are ..." or "I never claimed to ..." -- excuses that SMS himself had used before. Thus, I decided not to reply SMS or entertain his pleads. 

So, "Goodbye, Mr SMS!" I bear you no grudge. I have cried my heart dry over you, as such I no longer wish to handle any relationship drama from you. I do not regret our relationship for it had good times and I have since learned from the bad times. Been there, done that, checked. Time to move on!

4 comments:

  1. On the side note, his grammar is worse than me.
    On the serious side I am happy for your decision. You deserve someone of your own, nothing less.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi asingaporeanson,

      Thanks for your regular visits and your comment.

      Yeah, his English grammar isn't great, because it is only 1 of 5 languages that he speaks. His main languages are Norwegian and French (at undergraduate level). His English is so-so, maybe that's why he does not quite seem to understand what I want. He also speaks a bit of Italian and German, and understand Swedish (since it has a lot of similarity with Norwegian).

      Language ability aside, SMS is not AL. AL is the married HK guy with a daughter. SMS is the "divorced with shared custody of son" Norwegian who lives in France. Anyway, you're right, both cannot do lah. Must open my heart, mind and eyes to new options, haha.

      Cheers, WD.

      Delete
  2. why u never add me in facebook so i can talk to you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi asingaporeanson,

      Paiseh, never thought of that lah. I have a general rule to add only people that I have met and know personally on my Facebook. But I do make some exceptions, e.g. for exceptional people like you! :-)

      Have just sent you a Facebook "Add Friend" request. Please remember that most of my FB friends do not know about this anonymous blog, so please don't post my blog stuff on my FB wall, ok? Thanks!

      Cheers, WD.

      Delete