Monday, December 31, 2012

A guy in love

I recently re-connected with an ex-colleague JW, having been reminded by Facebook of his December birthdate. The thing is, sending him birthday wishes and a couple FB private messages exchanged bring back sweet old-memories of what a guy in love would really do.


I first met JW in the early-2000's. I was based in Singapore handling an Asia-Pacific (AP) server consolidation project. JW was based in Korea and assigned to liaise with me for his country. As usual, we chatted while working on the project. At one point, JW asked if I was single. I replied, "Yes." He then immediately ask if he could be my boyfriend! I laughed jokingly and teased him that he must send in his application. I also teased that he surely had multiple girlfriends given his good looks and sociable nature.

You know what? JW took my word for it and I received his photos and resume in my office email the very next day! I guess for Koreans, being a good provider equates being a good mate for the men. I was flabbergasted. That said, with such a 眼捣 ["handsome"] guy applying to be my boyfriend, I could not help but feel flattered. I decided that despite my rule (by-then) not to share about my personal life at work, I had to tell JW honestly that I do have a boyfriend although he was not based in Singapore with me. JW sounded disappointed. I thought that was the end of the matter.

Some months later, JW had an opportunity for a business trip to Singapore on another project. Upon arriving at the Singapore office, he contacted me, and as usual (for my foreign friends), I showed him around "my Singapore" with pride after work. Besides the obligatory Orchard Road, we tried durian (he actually stated that he liked it), did the Bugis street-side stalls, Night Safari, and Sentosa, etc. He was particularly impressed by the Sentosa musical fountain. 
This guy was freaking fun to hang out with. It seemed that he really enjoyed himself too. E.g. Once JW was sitting on a bench while waiting for me outside a MacDonald's. When he saw me coming, he pretended to be talking with the Ronald MacDonald clown statue seated next to him. Actually, I was in a rush and not in a good mood, but I could not help laughing at his gag.
The thing is, our hanging out together was for me a "show-and-tell" about Singapore. But for JW, it was a date (or several dates, actually). E.g. Along the way he told me that he lived alone in the apartment that he owned, a rarity for singles in Korea. I only realized the discrepancy in our views (on the purpose of our hanging-out together) while on the cable car heading to Sentosa. We were both facing in the same direction to get a good view of approaching island. He asked me something earnestly (I forgot what it was). When I turned to face him to answer his question, I realized that his arm was already around my shoulders (on the cable car seat), and his face (and those kissable lips) were only centimetres away from me. I was too stunned to give a proper reply. But I held back, because of my other (long-distance) relationship. JW returned to Korea still single and unattached, as per his arrival.


It was a year-or-so later when I next met JW in the mid-2000's, again in Singapore. I had already left my previous job. Once again he contacted me when he arrived for his Singapore business trip. 

We met up for dinner. I was feeling sad at that time because my long-distance relationship was not going well. JW saw that immediately and tried to cheer me up over dinner. He updated me that he was engaged. From his description of his fiance's background, it seemed like they were a good match. [Yes, they were introduced to each other through some match-making efforts.] However, I could tell that he seemed sad. 

Over dinner, JW while cheering me up, also tried to ask me more about the status of my love life. At one point, he leaned forward to look directly into my eyes earnestly and asked if I was or if I would consider breaking up with Mr SMS (my long-distance relationship). I told him honestly that I did not know if my long-distance relationship would last, but at least I would try to work out the problems with Mr SMS. We then switched topic to other frivolous stuff.

After dinner, as we walked through the underground Citylink Mall to the City Hall train station, we passed by a jewellery shop. I paused at the shop display of a couple of wedding bands and sighed inside my heart -- I had very little hope of Mr SMS proposing to me then. As I turned to leave, JW stopped me and told me that if I liked the rings, he would buy them for me immediately! I was surprised and touched (I don't know if he was just going to buy me the rings as a gift or as a proposal); but knowing his engaged status, I gave him an honest round-about reply that I prefer gold bands, not the platinum ones on display. He then said something like, "Ok, let us go in and choose what you like." I thanked him for his generosity and told him that I did not want the rings from him.

We kept in touch on-and-off. Some months later, JW got married as planned. About a year later, he emailed a photo of his newborn baby girl. I was happy that he had settled into married life.


Years later, JW moved to Europe, instead of his original plan for migration to Australia. I dropped him a Facebook friend request when I started my Facebook account. I don't know why but his Facebook updates are sans wife, sans daughter. Given that we are "old-friends", I sent him a private Facebook message sending him my regards for his wife and daughter. He never replied to that message.

Still we exchanged Facebook wall greetings, usually during year-end when his birthday is around the corner. Re-connecting with JW on Facebook reminded me of a bygone period in my life. I cherish those old memories in my heart -- how sweet a guy-in-love can be.


[Update on 01-Jan-2013]

Ok, confirmed that he is back to "single and available" status. Curiosity got better of me, so I asked him directly via a private Facebook message. :-P


  1. Dear Lisa,

    Thank you for your comment which you left on 10-Apr-2013 that "This is super cute."

    I am not publishing your original comment because you have linked your "Lisa" moniker to a company webpage advertising your "Winnipeg BBQ Catering" service. Suffice to say, I suspect this is a cheap attempt at using my blog to advertise your company's service for free. Is it really necessary to be so cheap?

    If you're making the above comment as a private individual, then please be considerate. Do not link my blog to your employer/company -- I do not endorse any product/service unless you pay me to (and I will publicly declare that it is paid-advertisement). Please speak for yourself as an individual instead of hiding behind your company's website url.

    Cheers, WD.

  2. you are a with it..dare to call men and treat men like gucci are a new generation sgporean slut

    1. Hi Mark,

      I will publish your useless, non-constructive comment only once -- if only just to illustrate what internet trolls do.

      Get on with life!